IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Overpopulation is the world's most serious environmental problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#overpopulation #world
One of the largest issues all over the world nowadays is the concern towards the
environment
. Overpopulation no doubt puts a strain on the
environment
 but it is not a serious concern but it is the way the people choose to live that
Correct your spelling
affects
show examples
effects
Correct your spelling
affects
show examples
 the
environment
.I believe that
its
Correct your spelling
it's
show examples
 the living
lifesttyles
Correct your spelling
lifestyles
 of humans that make it difficult for the
environment
.
Firstly
 , with the excessive use of cars in everyday life which release harmful fumes, which in turn are more dangerous to the
environment
. But the problem arises when
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people deliberately choose to use their own vehicles for their own
convience
Correct your spelling
convenience
.
In
Add a hyphen
In-country
show examples
Add an article
a country
show examples
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
 like Japan, the government decided to create a scheme on
free cycling
Correct your spelling
freecycling
show examples
 stations to encourage the sport of cycling but it was not accepted by the people because they decided to use their vehicles since they are more convenient.
Secondly
, there are very few nations
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 have
less
Add an article
a less
show examples
 demographic population as compared to the economy of the nation.
For instance
 nations like Japan where
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 is a crisis is not
root
Add an article
the root
show examples
 cause of their inability to curb environmental concerns. Japan heavily relies on industry and manpower to increase its economic strength which means pollution all year round since they have a demand for luxurious items. To conclude, it can be said that overpopulation is not a root cause of environmental degradation. Most of the environmental issues stem from the
lifestlyes
Correct your spelling
lifestyles
lifestyle
 humans live with. If humans start living a sustainable lifestyle
then
 there would be no pressure on the
environment
 at all.
Submitted by Bir on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • exacerbating
  • finite resources
  • environmental degradation
  • biodiversity
  • greenhouse gas emissions
  • sustainable consumption
  • habitat loss
  • family planning
  • renewable energy
  • technological advancements
  • resource management
What to do next:
Look at other essays: