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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In some countries young people have become richer, healthier, and live longer but they are less happy. What are the causes? What can be done to address this situation?

#countries #people #address #situation
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Juveniles are experiencing a great level of
life
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in contrast
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 to their
parents
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 which encompass more amenities, while they are more depressed and do not enjoy their
life
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 as much as their
parents
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. It seems that easier achievements and comparison of their lifestyle with others obstruct them from enjoying their own
life
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. These kinds of views have roots in childhood years and should solve in that years. Adolescences are not satisfied with their
life
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 because of two main reasons.
First
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 of all, in comparison to the past, being less hardworking is enough for answering your
first
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 needs. It means a well-paid job, adequate accommodation, healthy food and etcetera are all accessible for young people which needed burning oil for other generations.
As a result
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, youngsters who achieve all stuff straightforward, do not appreciate their situations and belongings thoroughly.
Secondly
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, in social
media
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,media
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 there are numerous celebrities with fancy lifestyles which leads adolescences to compare their
life
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 with them all the time and
consequently
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 not satisfied with their own
life
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 and feel completely depressed. Psychologists mainly believe all attitudes in adults is the result of upbringing years. Not enjoying
life
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 in adolescence happens when
parents
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 behave in an inappropriate way. To explain more, nowadays
parents
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 try hard to prepare all amenities and facilities for their kids so they grow up without entering with any challenges. Spoiled children with no great vision who just pay attention to materialistic aspects of
life
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 but if
parents
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 let the children experience the real-
life
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 challenges and speak with them about the world from a deeper point of view, they would not even think about comparing themselves with celebrities. These children would set goals for themselves and get satisfied by hardworking to achieve them
therefore
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 see their personality as a meaningful one. In conclusion, upbringing methods plus social media mislead juveniles from precious lifestyles and
also
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 satisfying deep inside.
Parents
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 behaviour in children’s upbringing can modify
this
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 type of view.
Submitted by pejhan.red on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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