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Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some claim that studying abroad has great benefits for a student’s home country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#student’s #home #country
There is a widely held perception in many parts of the world that studying abroad will be beneficial for the student’s home
countries
Fix the agreement mistake
country
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. I argue
this
 trend and
it’s
Correct your spelling
its
show examples
 long term ramifications are positive in nature.The following paragraphs will illustrate the pros of
this
 position taking into consideration the educational sector as well as the economical factor. Looking
first
 at the educational sector, it should be remembered that a significant improvement in the quantity and quality of education will
be achieve
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be achieved
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 by the
students
 who studied overseas. The brightest
students
 who acquired expertise will
capable
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be capable
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 of established a lot of educational institutions with
innovative
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an innovative
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approach
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approaches
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 borrowed from Western schools. To illustrate that Ahmed Zwail is an
egyption
Correct your spelling
Egyptian
 scientist who studied in
USA
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the USA
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 has established his own university in Egypt and offer a
high
Replace the word
highly
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 qualified education system .
This
 example shows clearly that countries gain
an
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
enormous benefits from their
students
 who study abroad. Another major contributing factor is economical development.
That is
 to
say
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,say
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a significant financial transfers
Correct the article-noun agreement
significant financial transfers
a significant financial transfer
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 come from those
work
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who work
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 in
the
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a
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 foreign
country
 after
graduated
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graduating
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.Many
of
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apply
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students
 who study abroad prefer to stay
at
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in
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 the same
country
 and seeking
for
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apply
show examples
a job and send money to their relatives in the homeland.
For instance
 in Egypt the
the
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apply
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financial transfers from outside is the
second
 source of income.When looking at
this
 example, there is no doubt that studying abroad has many advantages for the origin
country
. Bottom line,I once again reaffirm my position that studying abroad has many great benefits for the student home
country
 because of the
educationa
Correct your spelling
educational
education
 and financial reasons.
Submitted by m.nafsy on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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