IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

In many countires, there are an increasing number of private cars. What are the advantages and disadvtanges of this trend?

#countires #cars #disadvtanges #trend
It is proven that the number of people who have their own
car
 is increased and
this
 situation will have some consequence. In
this
 essay, I am going to discuss the
Correct your spelling
pros
show examples
prons
Correct your spelling
pros
show examples
 and cons
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 having a
car
 and
then
, I will give my opinion.
Firstly
, I think that the personal vehicle can give you the
indipendence
Correct your spelling
independence
 from others
in
Add the comma(s)
, in fact,
show examples
fact
 you can move wherever you want, without care about time table or connections related to other vehicles.
Moreover
, one more advantage is that you can bring with you what you want due to the
fact
 that you have your own space, in
fact
, if we think about public transports, there are several restrictions about weight or dangerous tools and so you can not bring them,
on the contrary
, going with your own vehicle allows the owner to bring
whaterver
Correct your spelling
whatever
 he wants.
Although
 there are beneficial consequences in having a
car
, I believe that whether everyone
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 their personal vehicle there will be a problem. The
fact
 is provided by the traffic jam in the biggest cities, especially
in particular
 hours during the day, when you can not move because the time for arriving at destination will double,
therefore
 if the number of
car
Change to a plural noun
cars
show examples
 will increase,
this
 problem will not be solved and the traffic congestion continued to be an issue. In conclusion, I think that being the owner of a
car
 can be useful because you have your
indipendence
Correct your spelling
independence
 from other transport but it will be
also
 a problem because it can improve a number of problems like
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
traffic jam.
Submitted by edogiova01 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: