IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Prisons are an expensive way of making bad people worse’ To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#prisons #people #worse’
It has had been a fierce debate over the decades that offenders' behaviour is altered or not after putting them behind bars. Some people argue that making convicts prisoners will make them worse and
this
 idea is futile. I totally disagree with the aforementioned statement.
First
 and foremost, prison houses have had been built
on
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with
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 the purpose to combat
with
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apply
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crime scenes and deter criminals to protect civilians.
In other words
, the existence of prisons instils the fear of sentence in offenders'
mind
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minds
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; wrongdoers must think twice before looting, vandalism and harming mankind on account of
sentence
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the sentence
a sentence
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.
For instance
, each country
have
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has
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 their own laws, the duration and degree of punishment according to the written laws.
Thus
, prison houses
considered
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are considered
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 a place where a convicted can reform his life and could improve his behaviour in the future in an order to avoid any future misdeeds.
In addition
to
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apply
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it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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, the presence of these buildings
in
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apply
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all around the world is
an
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apply
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evidence of
the
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their
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 importance
of
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apply
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them
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apply
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.
The society
Correct article usage
Society
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 would be disarrayed and full of social outbursts without controlling criminal actions. Undoubtedly, the authorities have had to invest a lot of money in a bid to manage and renovate
such
 places;
however
, the cost would
worth
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be worth
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if
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it if
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 the citizens could relieve
from
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apply
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offenders and could take
breath
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a breath
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 in a crime-free society. To conclude
then
, I admit that a high cost is involved to maintain, manage and keep up
of
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apply
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confined bars, but the absence could make folks more vulnerable, tender and an easy target for looters.
Submitted by parneet.k876 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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