IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Without capital punishment (the death penalty) our lives are less secure and crimes of violence increase. Capital punishment in essential to control violence in society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#punishment #death #penalty #lives #crimes #violence #control #society
Some individuals argue that the
death
 penalty controls serious felonies from taking place and increase society's security. The paragraphs below will outline a strong agreement with
this
 statement, as it diminishes the number of offenders returning to social living and impedes the remaining ones of offending.
To begin
 with, the main reason why I think that the maintenance of the
death
 penalty in society is important is due to the fact that it would avoid felony perpetrators from returning to social living.
For instance
, serious transgressions
such
 as rape, murder, kidnapping and
pedophilia
Change the spelling
paedophilia
show examples
 have a high rate of relapse in the
first
 months after liberation, indicating that these criminals might probably repeat their crime. As a permanent solution, the capital punishment institution would decrease the possibility of meeting a former prisoner whose offences were classified as heinous,
thus
, our lives would be more secure.
Furthermore
, another reason why I deem the capital punishment institution important to control the numbers of offenders is
because
Replace the word
that
show examples
 it would encourage people to hesitate before committing a transgression. Psychologically speaking, people who have committed any of the above-mentioned criminal wrongdoings are mainly diagnosed as sociopaths that are not capable of understanding other people's feelings, assisting them to not feel guilty or regret after hurting someone deeply.
Although
, sociopaths are able to fear for themselves.
Therefore
, the
death
 penalty is
also
 fundamental to control crimes of violence by the fear of dying as a consequence. To conclude, I strongly agree that without capital punishment, living in a community would be less secure and more serious offences would take place, as it would possibly liberate criminals whose crimes have a high relapse rate and fear of
death
 would not be an additional motive for stopping sociopaths.
Submitted by alexandretco on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: