The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system in an effort to deal with the health issue involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in the school curriculum. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #strain #health #care #system #effort #education #lessons #school #curriculum

Nowadays, the growing number of overweight

people

cause a huge impact on the

health

care system. Some

people

might believe that schools should provide more

sports

into their curriculum. I completely agree that

this

is the best way to solve the issue of public

health

First

of all, the schools should provide more

sports

classes

in order to make kids

exercise

more, which will certainly mitigate the obesity problem.

This

will lead to macro public

health

issues. At the moment, the

school

has only two

education

sessions per week.

This

is not enough for students to get enough

exercise

. According to the ministry of public

health

people

should

exercise

at least 30 minutes per day. To stay safe,

therefore

, the

school

should provide physical

education

classes

every day in order to make kids

exercise

enough.

Secondly

, apart from more PE

classes

, a wide variety of

sports

should be added to the curriculum.

This

will make kids have more interest in participating in physical

education

classes

. Not every kid like playing the same

sports

. Boys like to play football, while girls like to play badminton.

Therefore

, the

school

curriculum should have many kinds of

sports

that meet their interests. Their favourite

sports

will help make them more willing to

exercise

more regularly.

As a result

this

will help protect them from obesity, which causes many non-communicable diseases. In conclusion, dealing with an increasing population of overweight

people

, we need to provide more periods of physical

education

classes

Moreover

, the

school

should have more types of

sports

for children to play.

Submitted by chansatid on Tue Aug 24 2021

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

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‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

259 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

obesity rates
health care system
physical education
instill
long term
raise awareness
healthier lifestyle choices
nutritional education
active transport
quality of instruction
facilities and equipment
diet control initiatives
community sports programs

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You are experiencing financial problems and want to ask your landlord if you can pay your rent late.

Nowadays young adults seem to prefer to spend their leisure shopping. What are the reasons behind this? Is it a positive or negative development?

In some parts of the world, traditional festivals and celebrations have disappeared or are disappearing. What problems is this causing? What measures could be taken to counter this situation?

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The plans below show a student accommodation buildings 2010 and now. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant You should write at least 150 words.