Competition for university study is becoming increasingly strong. Why are universities becoming more competitive? Is this a positive or negative development?

In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
recent decades, the
administation
Correct your spelling
administration
of
unversity
Correct your spelling
university
has become more and more competitive. In my opinion,
this
may The main cause of
this
phenomenon is a growth in the global middle class. In developed countries, education levels have been rising steadily since the beginning of the 20th century with diminishing returns as countries reach 90% and above.
Therefore
, the most significant increases now come from the developing world.
In particular
, Asian and Middle Eastern nations
such
as Vietnam, Malaysia, and the UAE have seen dramatic growth in per capita income, enabling families to send their children to
university
domestically or abroad.
Coupled with
increased tax revenue
this
allows governments to fund state schools and offer scholarships and grants to less privileged segments of the population. Larger applicant pools from around the world are concomitant with increased competition. Despite the risk that less affluent families will be left behind, fiercer competition is an overwhelming positive. When a large number of applicants compete for
limited
Change the article
a limited
the limited
show examples
number of spots,
this
motivates each individual to excel.
For example
, a student applying to Harvard
University
in the 1950s was competing against a limited number of other applications and could likely rely on wealth and social status to gain acceptance. Nowadays, the acceptance rate is below 5% as students from all over the world strive for a place at Harvard.
This
means students must work harder to differentiate themselves by taking on more meaningful extracurriculars, receiving higher grades, and writing more insightful college essays. All
this
hard work in the aggregate translates to personal growth even if they must settle for a lesser
university
. In conclusion, rising incomes globally are responsible for increased competitiveness for
university
education and
this
clearly benefits both individuals and society.
However
, it is
also
important that governments and families mitigate the potentially negative effects of competition.
Submitted by Raven on

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task response
Make a stronger argument for the positive effects of increased competition in the first body paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Use more transition words and phrases to improve the flow and coherence of the essay.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • rising demand
  • globalization
  • prestigious
  • advances in technology
  • accessibility
  • employment market
  • qualifications
  • limited resources
  • admission caps
  • high-quality education
  • career prospects
  • online learning
  • faculty limitations
  • competitive edge
  • aspiration
  • surge
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