More and more fathers are taking break from their careers so that they can stay home and take care of their children while their wives work. This is better for the family than having both parents work full time. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion.
Nowadays, fathers are leaving their jobs. So, they have enough spare time to look after their kids.
However
, mothers work
hard. I strongly disagree with this
point of view. In the forthcoming paragraphs, I shall elaborate on the reasons and discuss my opinion more.
On the one hand, firstly
, it is obvious that if men
work
properly, they will be able to manage their families appropriately. In other words
, it is crucial that husbands must work
rather than their wives, as their physical fitness is stronger than ladies. Secondly
, it is advisable that women can control children better than men
. Thus
, it is necessary to assign kid's educational actions to them. Additionally
, females are more emotional than males. Therefore
, they will be able to spend enough emotions on their families. For example
, in the USA, most mothers tend to stay at home instead
of working outside, since they will be able to coordinate home tasks
effectively.
On the other hand
, critics argue that men
and women are equal. So, they have to work
in the same position. However
, I strongly believe that girls are weaker than men
. I think men
can handle physical activities much better than ladies. Also
, it would be difficult for females to face outdoor issues. So, it would be a great idea if we divided the tasks
based on gender. Moreover
, it is necessary to pay attention to how we will be able to consider our family's circumstances. It would be achievable with some actions, such
as dividing tasks
based on indoors and outdoors. This
trend can improve our attitude in terms of well-being. For instance
, in India, most families prefer to assign tasks
based on gender. They assume that it would be constructive due to
their abilities and capabilities.
In conclusion, it is essential to divide tasks
based on gender. It is clear that
men
are suitable for physical activities. However
, ladies are proper for indoor tasks
. I strongly disagree that men
have to stay at home even though their wives are working outside.Submitted by ali.pazoki72 on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph clearly supports your main argument. Your essay did provide reasons, but they could be more coherent and logically structured.
coherence cohesion
Include clearer topic sentences at the start of each paragraph to help the reader follow your argument more easily.
task achievement
Avoid making overly generalized statements such as "girls are weaker than men." Be sensitive to gender issues and ensure your arguments are respectful and inclusive.
task achievement
Include more relevant specific examples to back up your points. While you did mention the USA and India, more detailed examples could strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Good attempt at an introduction and conclusion. You clearly stated your disagreement and summarized your points nicely.
task achievement
Your essay presents a clear stance on the issue, which is important for task achievement.