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Band 8

Infuture all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside this will be passengers. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages.

#infuture #cars #buses #trucks #driverless #people #passengers #outweigh
Several research and technological innovations are ongoing, and in coming years, trucks, buses and cars will become automated without a need for drivers.
While
 I agree that these advancements are unavoidable,
however
, I think their side effects will be far greater than their advantages.
To begin
, the whole world is moving forward and the era of manual labour is diminishing, especially in the area of transportation, and these come with some benefits. One is that transportation would become seamless.
That is
, with the aid of Google Maps and satellite technologies, vehicles will drive themselves without anyone steering their wheels.
Hence
, a more organized traffic system. Another one is that since all cars are computerized, it would lead to a significant reduction in road traffic accidents
due to
 absent human errors.
For instance
, Tesla company's self-driving cars being used in some parts of America and Europe have proven these facts. Meanwhile, its disadvantages are magnanimous. These advancements could cause humans to become jobless.
For example
, seasoned drivers would lose their jobs, crane handlers would become useless, and blue-collar employees would be replaced with robots. Consequentially, it would drive the larger population to poverty, especially among the lower class.
Also
, there would be less human capital investment. In the sense that, technical training would become obsolete as only professionals
such
 as engineers and scientists would have a role in the transport sector industries. In conclusion,
although
, these are welcomed ideas for the future, I would suggest that human roles in all of these developments should be carefully considered in order to sustain the population's job security at large.
Submitted by callmosomitoyin on

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task achievement
Try to further develop your main points with additional examples or explanations. For instance, elaborating on how job loss due to automated vehicles could affect different sectors would strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Work on making transitions between paragraphs more seamless. This could involve using more connecting phrases or sentences that guide the reader smoothly from one idea to the next.
task achievement
The essay effectively addresses both sides of the argument, providing a balanced perspective on the topic.
coherence cohesion
Clear and well-structured introduction and conclusion that neatly frame the discussion.
task achievement
Good use of specific examples such as Tesla to illustrate points, which adds credibility to the arguments.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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