Competition for university study is becoming increasingly strong. Why are universities becoming more competitive? Is this a positive or negative development?

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It has been pointed out that the
competition
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in universities has been getting extremely fierce. Personally, I opine that the strong
competition
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in the
job
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market is the reason for
this
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situation, and
this
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is a dreadful trend as it is detrimental to university students' physical health. First of all,
due to
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the strong
competition
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in the workplace, if those who just leave their educations want to acquire a lucrative occupant, they have to achieve a higher score than their peers to signify they have a higher level of abilities and enthusiasm.
As a result
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, young school learners need to compete with their classmates in order to stand out, which contributes to the growth of
competition
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in educational establishments.
For instance
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, in China, most employers prefer to give a
job
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offer to candidates who hold an extremely wonderful academic performance in their classrooms. Youngsters studying in college know
this
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rule in the
job
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market, so they excel
themselves
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apply
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to get the best result in their
study
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studies
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, which results in a high level of
competition
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in educational institutions.
Furthermore
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, increasing
competition
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creates a harsh learning atmosphere for pupils, which negatively affects their physical well-being.
This
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is because those who want to graduate with decent qualifications and manage to get a rewarding and well-paid
job
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have to burn
their
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the
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midnight oil and get up early in the morning to study,
thus
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hurting their physical conditions.
For example
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, a vast majority of students
in
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at
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Beijing
university
Capitalize word
University
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say that as the environment of their college is becoming incredibly competitive, their peers normally invest a great deal of leisure time to do research, which forces them to follow
this
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trend. As study occupies their sport and sleeping time, they are suffering from digestive problems. In conclusion,
although
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people may vary in their opinion about the reason why the
competition
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in colleges is getting fierce and whether is a thriving or disgraceful trend, I am of the opinion that the difficulty of finding jobs is the reason, and
this
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circumstance is a negative development as it brings physical problems for university learners.
Submitted by strawberry.guan on

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coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present, but they lack depth and clarity. Work on providing a more comprehensive overview of the essay in the introduction, and a stronger, more conclusive summary in the conclusion.
task achievement
You have addressed the question and provided relevant examples to support your points. However, your response lacks depth and may benefit from a more thorough analysis of the reasons for increasing competition in universities.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • rising demand
  • globalization
  • prestigious
  • advances in technology
  • accessibility
  • employment market
  • qualifications
  • limited resources
  • admission caps
  • high-quality education
  • career prospects
  • online learning
  • faculty limitations
  • competitive edge
  • aspiration
  • surge
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