Competition for university study is becoming increasingly strong. Why are universities becoming more competitive? Is this a positive or negative development?

It has been pointed out that the
competition
in universities has been getting extremely fierce. Personally, I opine that the strong
competition
in the
job
market is the reason for
this
situation, and
this
is a dreadful trend as it is detrimental to university students' physical health. First of all,
due to
the strong
competition
in the workplace, if those who just leave their educations want to acquire a lucrative occupant, they have to achieve a higher score than their peers to signify they have a higher level of abilities and enthusiasm.
As a result
, young school learners need to compete with their classmates in order to stand out, which contributes to the growth of
competition
in educational establishments.
For instance
, in China, most employers prefer to give a
job
offer to candidates who hold an extremely wonderful academic performance in their classrooms. Youngsters studying in college know
this
rule in the
job
market, so they excel
themselves
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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to get the best result in their
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
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, which results in a high level of
competition
in educational institutions.
Furthermore
, increasing
competition
creates a harsh learning atmosphere for pupils, which negatively affects their physical well-being.
This
is because those who want to graduate with decent qualifications and manage to get a rewarding and well-paid
job
have to burn
their
Change the word
the
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midnight oil and get up early in the morning to study,
thus
hurting their physical conditions.
For example
, a vast majority of students
in
Change preposition
at
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Beijing
university
Capitalize word
University
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say that as the environment of their college is becoming incredibly competitive, their peers normally invest a great deal of leisure time to do research, which forces them to follow
this
trend. As study occupies their sport and sleeping time, they are suffering from digestive problems. In conclusion,
although
people may vary in their opinion about the reason why the
competition
in colleges is getting fierce and whether is a thriving or disgraceful trend, I am of the opinion that the difficulty of finding jobs is the reason, and
this
circumstance is a negative development as it brings physical problems for university learners.
Submitted by strawberry.guan on

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coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present, but they lack depth and clarity. Work on providing a more comprehensive overview of the essay in the introduction, and a stronger, more conclusive summary in the conclusion.
task achievement
You have addressed the question and provided relevant examples to support your points. However, your response lacks depth and may benefit from a more thorough analysis of the reasons for increasing competition in universities.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • rising demand
  • globalization
  • prestigious
  • advances in technology
  • accessibility
  • employment market
  • qualifications
  • limited resources
  • admission caps
  • high-quality education
  • career prospects
  • online learning
  • faculty limitations
  • competitive edge
  • aspiration
  • surge
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