Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and this is a bad example to adolescents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#celebrities #glamour #wealth #achievements #adolescents

Stepping into the 21st century, many celebrities tend to widen their popularity through the massive property and extravagant luxurious lifestyle rather than their successes in their professions.

However

, with the majority of fans from teenagers,

this

leaves a controversial concern on the growing-up of them. Personally, to some extent, I agree that celebrities’ wealth has gone fairly over the top but in the other cases,

this

statement does not reveal the whole scenario.

First

and foremost, as many juveniles look up to their idols as a standard model to learn after,

this

trend misdirects their total growing-up process . The most noticeable flaw is the improper materialistic viewpoint of others. By chasing down the appealing appearance, fancy luxuries the kids’ appreciation towards inner values

Change the verb form

are

show examples

undermined.

For example

, many kids take these lifestyles as a standard to judge people based on their condition

instead

of their characteristics or endeavour. In the long term,

this

leads to the exacerbation of the whole operating system from the perspectives of the others.

However

, while some prefer to brighten up their reputation in

this

way, many renowned still persistently transfer the positivity to their fans.

For example

, Bill Gates, a distinguished billionaire, with monumental contributions to

this

digital world,

instead

of showing off his uncountable budget, spreads the message of the real inner quality in his everyday image. He has the reputation for dressing up simply in casual inexpensive clothes many times in public which reminds both the teenagers

in particular

and the society as a whole of cherishing the precious values inside the products

instead

of the extravagant cost and ornamental meanings. In conclusion, I partly root for the opinion that many use wealth to be known by others, still there are many still spread the positive messages to the whole society as a whole.

Submitted by haioanhcongviec on Fri Aug 27 2021

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

302 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and this is a bad example to adolescents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Today, there are more men's than women's sports on TV. Why? Should TV channels give equal time for women's and men's sports?

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Some people believe that the money spend on space exploration technology is not justifiable. The money should be spent on other beneficial things. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Lack of fresh water is becoming a global issue of increasing importance. what problems does this shortage cause? what measures could be taken to overcome these problems?