Some people think that the main factors influencing a child's development these days are things such as television, friends and music. Others believe that the family still remains more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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In contemporary society, a significant debate has emerged regarding the primary influences on a
child
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's
development
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. Some individuals argue that external factors
such
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as television, friends, and music play a pivotal
role
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in shaping a
child
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's growth.
Conversely
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, others assert that the family unit remains paramount in
this
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regard. I align myself with the latter perspective, as I believe that parental influence is critical in guiding
children
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through the complexities of life, allowing them to navigate various situations effectively.
To begin
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with, proponents of the view that media and social connections are the main factors influencing
child
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development
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present several compelling arguments.
Firstly
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, they contend that television and music serve as valuable tools for relaxation and entertainment, helping
children
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to
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apply
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manage stress or anxiety.
For instance
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,
children
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often turn to their
favorite
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favourite
show examples
shows or songs during challenging times, which can provide them with comfort and distraction.
Furthermore
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, friendships are integral to a
child
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's social
development
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; peers can offer support and encouragement that foster resilience and emotional intelligence.
However
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, reliance on media and friendships alone can be problematic, especially when
children
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devote excessive time to consumption rather than engaging in more constructive activities. On the opposing side, there are multiple reasons why the
role
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of
parents
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is indispensable in a
child
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's upbringing. Primarily,
parents
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possess an intimate understanding of their
child
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's personality,
behaviors
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behaviours
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, and unique needs. They are ideally positioned to offer personalized guidance
that is
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sensitive to their
child
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's emotional and developmental phases.
For example
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,
parents
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can share invaluable life lessons through anecdotes from their own childhood, illustrating how they navigated challenges and learned important skills.
Such
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interactions not only strengthen the parent-
child
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bond but
also
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instill
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instil
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vital moral values and coping mechanisms in younger generations.
Additionally
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,
parents
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play an active
role
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in fostering their
child
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's interests and talents, ensuring that their developmental journey is holistic and well-rounded. In conclusion,
while
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external factors
such
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as television, friends, and music undoubtedly contribute to a
child
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's
development
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, they cannot replace the essential
role
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of the family.
Parents
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offer unique insights and support that are integral to a
child
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's growth. In my view, the family unit remains the cornerstone of effective
child
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development
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, as it provides a solid foundation upon which
children
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can build their futures.
Submitted by shital20802 on

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task achievement
Try to incorporate more specific examples or studies to further substantiate your points about media's influence and parental guidance.
coherence cohesion
Ensure smooth transitions between ideas to enhance the logical flow of the essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a strong introduction that clearly outlines both perspectives on the topic.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main arguments and clearly states your opinion.
task achievement
The essay addresses all parts of the task, offering a balanced discussion of both views.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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