Many people decide on a career path early in their lives and keep to it. This, they argue, leads to a more satisfying working life. To what extent do you agree with this view? What other things can people do in order to have a satisfying working life?

#people #career #path #lives #life

Being worry about our future is a current feeling in our lives. Some people decide on a career path early and keep to it. For them,

this

lead

Change the verb form

leads

show examples

to a more satisfying working life.

This

essay intends to provide arguments to support my own opinion which is the opposite of

this

last

idea.

Firstly

, feeling well-being at

work

is one of the most important

thing

Change to a plural noun

things

show examples

to have a satisfying working life.

Then

, many choices in our lives can lead to

this

outcome.

For instance

, trying several jobs in order to find our own way is not an issue, because the journey is not linked with any type of success. To provide a clear example, someone who does not know what to do should try many jobs in order to be sure whereas another person who is certain to go somewhere might be

disapointed

Correct your spelling

disappointed

and

then

feel stuck. On the other side, being chatty, nice or open-minded might be some useful behaviours to enjoy

time

Add an article

the time

show examples

during

work

. Indeed, the atmosphere and the contact with others have a huge impact on our daily routines.

For example

, someone

which

Correct pronoun usage

who

show examples

is always

smilling

Correct your spelling

smiling

with a long

carreer

Correct your spelling

career

or not will be happy during his

work

time.

Otherwise

, we can

also

notice that doing the same

work

we have always wanted to do block some opportunities which might come when nothing is organised.

Hence

finding

Add an article

the finding

show examples

Correct your spelling

his

show examples

own happiness is the most crucial,

Correct your spelling

but

show examples

bur

Correct your spelling

but

show examples

there is not only one path to follow. To conclude, following a strict path might have some good

point

Fix the agreement mistake

points

show examples

such

as do not feel too

much

Change the quantifier

many

show examples

doubts , it might be a less anxious way, but do not know is

also

exciting because of the feeling of freedom and the chance to be open

for

Change preposition

show examples

surprising events every day.

Submitted by eve.gilquin06 on Fri Aug 27 2021

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

297 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many people decide on a career path early in their lives and keep to it. This, they argue, leads to a more satisfying working life. To what extent do you agree with this view? What other things can people do in order to have a satisfying working life?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

some believe that children should be taught from a young age ow to handle money. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Some people think that money is one of the most essential factors in promoting happiness. Do you think people can be happy without much money? What other factors contribute towards happiness?

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination,while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both views and give your opinion.