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Band 6.5

Some people think that radio has become out-of-date, and there is no need to listen to the radio for entertainment and news. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #radio #entertainment #news
With the advancement of technology and the invention of new tools, most people share a perspective that the radio has become obsolete.
On the other hand
, there are folks who still
use
radio
Correct article usage
the radio
show examples
 for entertainment purposes. In the essay, I will discuss both
point
Change to a plural noun
points
show examples
 of
views
Fix the agreement mistake
view
show examples
 and share my personal opinion regarding
this
 issue. In my opinion, I completely agree that
transistors
 have become archaic.
To begin
 with, in
this
 modern era, innovation and invention are the buzzwords. With the speedy progress of science, people no longer
use
 wireless for entertainment or
news
. They have TVs, computers, internet, laptops, tablets for those purposes. And
this
 is because all these new
equipments
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
show examples
 give folks an opportunity to know about things happening around the world. To illustrate,
transistors
 do not have a broad spectrum
as a result
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 cannot provide folks with the
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
show examples
 they want. To put it more simply, in the modernised world, humans have better options than radios so why not grasp them.
On the contrary
, there are humans who still
use
 wireless for entertainment or
news
. The reason behind it is simple, they
use
 it
becaue
Correct your spelling
because
 they are sentimentally connected with these devices.
For instance
, walkmans are mostly used by the old citizens and
that is
 because they are emotionally connected to these tools and feel nostalgic whenever they
use
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 to listen to music or
news
.
In other words
, in those old days, there was no other source for communication or listening to
news
Add an article
the news
show examples
.
Hence
, they became dependent on walkmans for amusement purposes.
Thus
, they still
use
transistors
 because it is a habit
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 they have not been able to give up. To conclude, the advancement of technologies has given us a plethora of inventions
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 are far better than
transistors
. As mentioned earlier in the essay, I hold the view that radios have become obsolete as compared to
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 we have far better options for our amusement.
Submitted by maimunazaman474 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • out-of-date
  • relevant
  • portability
  • rural and remote areas
  • internet access
  • sense of community
  • local engagement
  • traditional radio
  • disseminating
  • crucial information
  • demographics
  • primary source
  • familiarity
  • ease of use
  • revitalized
  • internet radio
  • podcasts
  • diverse content
  • engaged in
  • emergency situations
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