IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In many cities, an increasing number of people do not know their neighbors and there is no sense of community anymore. Discus the causes and suggests measures that might deal with this situation.

#cities #people #neighbors #sense #community #discus #measures #situation
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In the modern era, with changing lifestyles, community and social bonding seem to be fading. It is easy to find that, especially in cities, many
people
 don't even know their neighbours. In
this
 essay, I will discuss some of the reasons for
this
 growing
trend
 along with measures that can be used to tackle the situation. One prominent cause for
this
trend
 is an increase in professional pressure and job expectations. Nowadays
people
 tend to work for an average of 10 to 12 hours a day and in some Asian ,countries the average working hours are around 12 to 14 hours a day, leaving little time for social meetups and bondings. They don't have time to get social and know
people
 living around. Adding to
this
 is the growing social media and a sense of individualism which on the face has connected the world but has actually distant
people
 apart.
People
 prefer to stay indoors and entertain themselves with easy to access online media. They don't like coming out of their cocoons and meet others around.
This
 growing
trend
 has done more harm than good to society. Rising suicides, divorces are inevitable outcomes of
this
trend
. There can be several ways to combat the situation at hand.
Firstly
, society or apartment authorities can organize social meetups on festivals and special occasions, providing an opportunity for
people
 to meet and know each other.
Moreover
, companies should understand the importance of work-life balance and provide their employees to live a balanced life. If required, governments should impose the working laws strictly. To conclude, the growing
trend
 on individualism and loss of sense of community can be curbed if the root cause is understood properly and measures are taken. Some of these reasons and strategies are discussed above.
Submitted by pawan.baweja on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: