"Many adults nowadays prefer spending their free time playing computer games. Why do they do this? Is this a positive or negative development?"

#adults #time #computer #games #development

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Freetime is the

time

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that

people

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can do something to relax and feel more comfortable after school or work. So some

people

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often play sports, read books or sleep in during these times.

Besides

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, there are a lot of

people

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who choose to play video

games

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for it. In my opinion, they do it because of needs in their life and

this

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is not only negative, but

also

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positive development. The following essay will demonstrate them.

Firstly

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, many young individuals are interested in playing video

games

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because they want to play with their

friends

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. As we can see, there are many

people

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whose close

friends

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are far from them so they won’t meet their

friends

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regularly and playing

games

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together will help them to talk with each other more.

For example

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, nowadays there is a very famous game that everyone knows about , it is Free Fire. In

this

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game,

people

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can play, talk or chat with

friends

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in their free

time

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so many individuals play it to spend more

time

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with their close

friends

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In addition

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, playing computer

games

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also

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helps

people

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to make new

friends

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. When doing it,

people

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can send friend invitations to others whom they don’t know and do it with them.

For example

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, from Free Fire, they can chat, and talk with new

people

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and maybe they can become close

friends

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so they can expand their relationships more.

However

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, playing computer

games

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also

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brings both advantages and disadvantages.

Firstly

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, when playing

games

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, we can have

time

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to entertain. After a busy day, these

games

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can bring happiness and fun to them through the situations in them.

For instance

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, when

friends

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play Fireboy and Watergirl, overcoming obstacles together will help them feel happy and bring laughter.

Besides

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, doing it too much can cause addiction to

games

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. Many

people

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spend a lot of

time

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playing it without doing outdoor activities and it will cause bad impacts on their health.

For instance

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, nowadays many young

people

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play Free Fire or Pubg mobile all night without sleeping so the next day, they can’t study or work normally and for a long

time

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it can have bad effects on their mental health. In conclusion, we can play video

games

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to entertain or make

friends

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, it is very good for our lives.

However

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, it

also

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has demerits so we should balance the

time

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when playing it.

Submitted by duongntt.tld on Tue Feb 27 2024

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task achievement

Ensure the introduction clearly presents the topic and outlines your position. While your introduction touches on points to be discussed, making your stance clearer from the beginning can enhance the readers' understanding.

task achievement

To improve task achievement, ensure your conclusion succinctly summarizes your main points and reiterates your position. This closing paragraph should tie your essay together, reinforcing your arguments.

coherence cohesion

For better coherence and cohesion, aim to make transitions between paragraphs smoother. Use connective words and phrases to link ideas more seamlessly, enhancing the flow of your essay.

coherence cohesion

Incorporate a wider variety of sentence structures and vocabulary to avoid repetition and enhance the complexity and clarity of your ideas.

coherence cohesion

To attain a higher score, ensure that each body paragraph focuses on a single main idea, which is then elaborated with examples and explanations. This clear structure helps in making your essay more coherent and ensuring your points are well supported.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

395 words

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"Many adults nowadays prefer spending their free time playing computer games. Why do they do this? Is this a positive or negative development?"

Word Count

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Nowadays, the way people interact with each other has changed because of technology. How does technology affect the types of relationships that people make? Is this positive or negative development?