New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

In today’s society, modern technologies have altered how

children

spend their spare

time

. Despite some obvious disadvantages of

this

trend

, I believe that these are outweighed by the advantages. On the one hand, there are two major drawbacks when young people allocate their leisure

time

to playing with digital gadgets. The

first

drawback is that

this

trend

has a detrimental effect on their physical health.

Children

are more likely to suffer from various health problems

such

Add a hyphen

short-sightedness

show examples

short - sightedness

Correct your spelling

short-sightedness

show examples

or back pain when they devote a large amount of their

time

in front of a computer than those who take part regularly in outdoor activities.

Furthermore

, screen

time

activities

also

affect negatively

Change preposition

apply

show examples

youngsters’ mental health.

This

is because those people tend to isolate themselves to play games or chat with their peers through social networking sites

instead

face – to – face

Correct your spelling

face–to–face

show examples

interaction, leading to social isolation and other psychological disorders. Many studies have shown that the more physical activities

children

undertake, the happier they will be.

On the other hand

, I believe that the benefits of

this

trend

are more significant than

such

disadvantages.

Firstly

children

might have more chances to broaden their knowledge through enormous programs on

Add a hyphen

hi-fi

show examples

hi – fi

Correct your spelling

hi–fi

show examples

devices. A child,

for instance

, will know more about wildlife animals and their natural habitats if he spends his free

time

watching videos on Animal Planet Channel than those who do have

this

habit.

Secondly

Add a hyphen

hi-tech

show examples

hi – tech

Correct your spelling

hi–tech

show examples

gadgets provide the young with enormous opportunities to widen their virtual – friend circle.

This

means that they are more likely to make friends from all over the world thanks to the latest technological applications

such

as Facebook, Instagram or Twitter. In conclusion, I would argue that the

trend

of using technologies in

children

’s free

time

brings more benefits than drawbacks.

Submitted by hientrantb99 on Sat Aug 28 2021

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

304 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Digital literacy
Cyberbullying
Sedentary lifestyle
Inappropriate content
Self-learning
Screen time
Social inequality
Enhanced communication
Creative expression
Educational resources

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New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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