IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Some people believe that teenager should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time . This can be benefit teenagers and the community as well . To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In recent years, there has been a contentious debate about whether adolescents should spend their spare hours volunteering. Many people believe that their free
time
Use synonyms
 should be used to direct
teenagers
Use synonyms
 towards activities that benefit society rather than be wasted, benefiting the young people and the community. I agree with
this
Linking Words
 perspective because volunteering improves
teenagers
Use synonyms
' competencies and real-world experience,
while
Linking Words
 immersing them in different environments.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, unpaid neighbourhood work makes productive use of
teenagers
Use synonyms
' leisure and serves a significant purpose. When adolescents are introduced to various settings in which they help others,
such
Linking Words
 experience not only fosters altruism but
also
Linking Words
 improves essential life skills.
For example
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, a recent study in Saudi Arabia found that 76% of adolescents who spent their free
time
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 volunteering, including feeding the homeless, sewing clothes, and cleaning public spaces, reported greater empathy than those who never participated. In fact, younger individuals cope better with life's challenges, compared with those who only spend their
time
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 off playing games, which can lead to a sedentary lifestyle.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the young population can make better use of their idle hours by engaging in public service. Society contains numerous disadvantaged groups in need,
such
Linking Words
 as elderly patients, children with disabilities, and homeless individuals, where underage residents can be encouraged to serve the public welfare.
In addition
Linking Words
, if youths are surrounded by underprivileged groups, they are more likely to develop a strong sense of responsibility toward the wider world, which helps shape them into more compassionate citizens.
Therefore
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, guiding and teaching
teenagers
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 to devote their breaks to the benefit of both society and themselves is crucial,
instead
Linking Words
 of wasting them on a monotonous and idle routine.
To conclude
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,
although
Linking Words
 some young inhabitants may reject
this
Linking Words
 idea, I firmly believe that social service should be obligatory for minors, as it benefits both sides. Dedicating their
time
Use synonyms
 to the public good helps them grow mentally and emotionally.

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content
Add a balance by showing any bad sides of making it a rule and how to handle them.
language
Use short and clear sentences. Some long lines should be broken to avoid run on.
structure
Make sure each paragraph links to the main idea and to the next paragraph.
evidence
Check facts from the study; say if it is a real study and who did it.
lexical
Avoid too many new words; try to use common word choice.
content
The writer takes a clear stance and sticks to it.
structure
Good use of linking words to show order and ideas.
conclusion
Conclusion restates view well.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • mandatory
  • community service
  • empathy
  • real-world issues
  • problem-solving skills
  • social skills
  • networks
  • constructive
  • detrimental activities
  • college applications
  • job resumes
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