The continued rise in the world’s population is the greatest problem faced by humanity at the present time. What are the causes of this continued rise? Do you agree that it is the greatest problem faced by humanity?

#rise #world’s #population #humanity #time

It is undeniable that the

world

at the present has had changed into

modern

Add an article

a modern

the modern

show examples

society which can cause the continued rise of citizens in the global, and the increase of

people

is the big problem faced by humanity, nowadays. From my point of view, I agree with

this

statement and the causes of

overpopulation

Correct article usage

the overpopulation

show examples

issue have many reasons. In the following paragraph, the reasons to support my opinion will be outlined in the detail. It is true to say that one of the major causes of the continued increase of populations is that the evolution of

medical

Add an article

the medical

show examples

system which is better from the past due to

people

at the present have a lot of knowledge rather than ancient

people

As a result

, they can create many methods to increase the birth rates

such

as In Vitro Fertilization method or it is called

that

Correct determiner usage

the

show examples

IVF method.

Additionally

, many persons in

this

time can make many innovations to prevent

people

from sickness, like they can be made some medicines by mixing some chemicals together. I agree with

this

statement because the continued rise of populations in the

world

can create many issues.

For instance

, it can cause shortage issues in some areas due to some

people

cannot access food resources and materials which have limited in society,

firstly

Secondly

, the

world

will be faced with

deforestation

Correct article usage

the deforestation

show examples

problem by causing

from

Change preposition

show examples

human activities. When

people

are increasing around the

world

, they tend to need more

foods

Fix the agreement mistake

food

show examples

and accommodations for their

live

Replace the word

life

show examples

so that they will cut big trees to make their home.

Furthermore

, overpopulation can create many pollutions from using a lot of technology. In conclusion, I strongly agree with

this

statement, and I think that

overpopulation

Correct article usage

the overpopulation

show examples

problem is one of the greatest problems which can negatively

affects

Change the verb form

affect

show examples

other living begins around the

global

Replace the word

globe

show examples

Therefore

, it is recommended that the state government should provide some policies to reduce populations in their country.

For example

, restriction of having children in each family.

Submitted by kitsanayuiyui on Sun Aug 29 2021

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

328 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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The continued rise in the world’s population is the greatest problem faced by humanity at the present time. What are the causes of this continued rise? Do you agree that it is the greatest problem faced by humanity?

Many people around the world use social media everyday to keep in touch with other people and get news events. Do you think the advantanges outweigh the disadvamtages?

Food has become easier to prepare what changes do you think has been made as a result.

it is more important for school children to learn about their local history than the world history. Do you agree or disagree?

The rise of social media has affected personal relationships and society as a whole. Do the advantages of using socia media for communication outweigh the disadvantages?

Many small businesses are being forced to close because they cannot compete with multinational corporations. What problems does this cause, and how can those problems be solved?