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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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In a number of countries, some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that enormous quantities of money should be spent on building new railway lines for highly fast trains connecting cities. Others say the money should be used to improve existing public transportation. In my view, I agree with the latter opinion.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, another group of
people
Use synonyms
 claims that improved public transport provides equal access to mobility for all societal groups, including those who cannot afford private vehicles, the elderly, and
people
Use synonyms
 with disabilities. Since enhancing public transport connects different parts of cities and regions, it fosters social inclusion and allows residents to access jobs, education, and healthcare more easily.
Furthermore
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, by focusing on improving existing systems, public funds can be used more efficiently, providing immediate benefits to a larger number of
people
Use synonyms
 and ensuring better returns on investment. Since upgrading existing systems allows for incremental improvements, it can be implemented more quickly than large-scale new projects, providing faster benefits to the public.
On the other hand
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, some
people
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 argue that countries should spend the amount of money on the infrastructure of new railway lines. Two of the principal reasons for
this
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 are as follows.
First,
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it boosts economic growth; to expound, it creates jobs in construction, engineering, and operations.
secondly
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, fast trains reduce travel time between cities, enabling quicker and more efficient business travel.
Consequently
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, these reasons increase productivity and foster economic activity.
Moreover
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, the new railway has positive effects on the environment, especially when powered by renewable energy sources. High-speed trains typically produce fewer carbon emissions compared to cars and planes, helping to combat climate change. In conclusion,
this
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 investment not only enhances connectivity and accessibility but
also
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 supports sustainable development, social cohesion, and national competitiveness.

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coherence cohesion
To improve the coherence and cohesion of your essay, consider adding more linking phrases to smoothly transition between ideas and paragraphs. Additionally, make sure each paragraph has a clear central idea that logically connects to the main argument.
task achievement
For task achievement, while your response is complete and your ideas are clear, including more specific examples would strengthen your argument. This helps to further illustrate your points and make your arguments more compelling.
task achievement
Your essay effectively covers both sides of the argument, providing a balanced discussion.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your writing is clear and straightforward, making it easy to follow your main points and arguments.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • infrastructure
  • efficient
  • congestion
  • sustainable
  • environmentally friendly
  • connectivity
  • economic growth
  • public transportation
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