It is more important for school children to learn about their local history rather than world history. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
While
some history
lessons in schools focus on the history
of the children
’s country
, others take a more global approach and teach the history
of other countries as well. I believe it is important to learn about the past of one’s own country
but also
the history
of the world
.
On the one hand, there are benefits to learning the history
of one’s own country
. It can foster a sense of pride and patriotism for children
in the place they have come from by teaching them about the many achievements of their nation over history
, such
as wars they have won or freedoms gained. It is also
important for children
to understand where the customs and values of their country
have emanated from in order for them to feel that they too would like to continue these into the future. Both of these will mean the children
will grow up feeling a sense of belonging to where they have come from.
On the other hand
, it is important to learn about the rest of the world
too. Every country
has a different history
and culture and if children
are not taught about this
, they will lack the analytical abilities to really understand their own nation and how it compares to other places. Countries are also
intertwined in their histories. There have been two World
Wars and so it is impossible to fully appreciate these without learning about world
history
.
All in all, it is paramount that children
understand history
at both the national and international level
. Learning only about one’s own Fix the agreement mistake
levels
country
would result in a very narrow-minded view of the world
.Submitted by 2024successielts on
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coherence cohesion
To improve your logical structure, ensure that you have clear and distinct paragraphs which each deal with a separate aspect of the question. Consider expanding on the ideas with more specific examples to illustrate each point better.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are present but could be further emphasised. Make sure your introduction clearly states your position and that your conclusion effectively summarizes your arguments and restates your opinion.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are supported, but consider integrating more varied and detailed examples or evidence to strengthen your arguments. This will demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
task achievement
To fulfill the task achievement criterion at a higher level, ensure that you address the prompt directly. Consider adding a more thorough comparison and balance between learning local history and world history, as per the essay question.
task achievement
Your ideas are clear, but strive to develop them more comprehensively. Your essay should address the immediate and broader implications of the argument for a more in-depth response.
task achievement
Use relevant, specific examples to underpin your arguments. While you provided general examples, incorporating unique or particularly poignant historical events or implications could enhance your argument's relevance and specificity.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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