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Band 5.5

Crime appears to be rising in most countries in the world, especially among young people. Identify the possible causes of this trend and propose some solutions you think would be effective.

#crime #countries #world #people #trend
Undoubtedly, there is ample evidence to claim that
crime
 is on the rise around the world. While the origins of
this
 crucial problem derive from several considerable factors, several remedies are possible to overcome
such
challenging
Correct article usage
a challenging
show examples
 issue. Perhaps the major factor here is the
lack
 of parental attention to
children
. If
children
 were taken care of, they would not attend
crime
. The
second
 significant factor is the
lack
 of
safe
Correct article usage
a safe
show examples
 educational environment in schools for pupils. Not only do not schools provide a secure and calm environment for
children
 to learn, but they
also
 provide some opportunities for students to learn and experience
crime
.
Finally
, another important factor is the
lack
 of social
services
 in many countries, especially poor countries. In many cases,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
quick access to
such
services
 probably can help young people to avoid
crime
 in society.
Turing
Correct your spelling
Turning
show examples
 to possible solutions, the
first
 perfect solution is for parents who are responsible to take care of
children
.
Children
 need to be supported by their parents. The
second
 remedy is definitely for government to establish modern education systems completely safe and secure for students and provide accessible social
services
 to help young people where they are committing a
crime
. In summary, several significant factors
such
 as the
lack
 of support from parents, the
lack
 of excellent education environment in schools, and the
lack
 of social care
services
 are the major reasons which lead
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
young people to commit a
crime
. It seems that a coordinated and unanswerable response by families and government might be an effective treatment to reduce the severity of
such
situation
Correct article usage
a situation
show examples
.
Submitted by meghdad.mirabi on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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