In some cultures, children are often told they can achieve anything in they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

#cultures #children #message

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

It is undeniable, that trying hard in any activity plays

Change the article

show examples

major role in the

sucess

Correct your spelling

success

, but it does have some drawbacks in certain situations. In the following paragraph, I intend to divulge both the pros and cons of the message.

afairstly

Correct your spelling

firstly

, it is inevitable that

hardwork

Correct your spelling

hard work

is a key

for

Change preposition

show examples

Remove the article

apply

show examples

achievement.By telling the children to try their maximum potential from

young

Add an article

a young

show examples

age they will be determined in their education and

acheive

Correct your spelling

achieve

good results.

Furturemore

Correct your spelling

Furthermore

, kids have different

intrests

Correct your spelling

interests

and they will try their best in any sector to be

sucessful

Correct your spelling

successful

and

aalso

Correct your spelling

also

provides motivation to

yonger

Correct your spelling

younger

generations.

This

Linking Words

helps them to try their peak and get

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

extraordinary

axhievements

Correct your spelling

achievements

in various fields other than education.

For instance

Linking Words

,formal

indian

Change the capitalization

Indian

show examples

criket

Correct your spelling

cricket

team captain m.s.

dhoni

Change the capitalization

Dhoni

show examples

was born in a poor family and after many years of struggle, he got

india

Change the capitalization

India

show examples

3 international world cups.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, it has some disadvantages in specific conditions. By suggesting

them

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

try

Fix the infinitive

to try

show examples

hard for achieving anything can create false hopes in kids and may lead to

Correct your spelling

overstress

show examples

over stress

Correct your spelling

overstress

show examples

few

Correct article usage

a few

show examples

Correct your spelling

children

childrens

Correct your spelling

children

show examples

could cause stress disorders

Change preposition

at in

show examples

Correct your spelling

show examples

early age.

Moreover

Linking Words

, with

this

Linking Words

culture

Add a comma

,culture

show examples

they try things that are impossible to

Correct your spelling

work out

show examples

workout

Correct your spelling

work out

show examples

at that age and physical conditions.

For example

Linking Words

,a boy 12 years old died while lifting a weight of 40kilogram

steelbar

Correct your spelling

steel bar

, he missed the balance and drop that on his ribs and their parents were

encourging

Correct your spelling

encouraging

from behind. To conclude, it is always helpful to have

culture

Add an article

a culture

show examples

of trying hard help to reach the goal but, trying

unligical

Correct your spelling

unlogical

things seriously can have drawbacks

Submitted by chinnublaster99 on Tue Aug 31 2021

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
35
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

256 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

achieve
try hard
positive mindset
self-belief
motivates
ambitious goals
resilience
determination
confidence
self-esteem
growth mindset
unrealistic expectations
disappointment
failure
effort
hard work
seek support
individual differences
abilities
capabilities

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

<4
band
You work at home and have a problem with a piece of equipment that you use for your job.Write a letter to the shop or company which supplied the equipment.In your letter• describe the problem with the equipment• explain how this problem is affecting your work• say what you want the shop or company to do
Dear Amazon Store Good morning, I am sending a letter to your's, to inform you about a problem happened to me after buya cutting machine from you last week. After starting use cutting instrument to cut paper unfortunately, the machine not working and turning again and tried but also, not work. And because of that it delayed me from submitting my work at a right time. I hope from you understanding my problem and replacement the machine by new one or return back my money.
8.5
band
People believe that they should be able to keep all the money they earn and should not pay tax to the state. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Some people argue that they should be entitled to retain all the money they earn without paying taxes to the state. However, I totally disagree with this view.
6
band
You joined a sports club recently and are experiencing some problems. Write to the club manager. In your letter Say why you joined the club Explain about the problems you are experiencing Suggest solutions to fix them
I am writing this to express the disappointments that I noticed in your sports club. I joined this sports club last week due to its popularity in society.
6
band
The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Science is the bedrock of technology and innovation. The target point for science is to make individuals live better. In my view, I strongly agree that the upgradation of innovation and technology eases the living of people. Human beings enjoy convenience and comfort, smart and time-efficient ways of technology and technology which are comparatively less labour-intensive. In another aspect, makes the nation stronger and more competitive.
6
band
Some people want governments to spend money looking for life on other planets. Others, however, think this is a waste of public money when there are so many problems on earth. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Humans are always searching for better life outside of the planet. Some people believe that the policymakers allocate the funds to explorers. However, on the same scale, other argue that public funds should be spent on motherland issues which our earth already facing that need to be addressed by the government. I believe that spending money on exploring other planets would not be the best solution for humanity instead environmental, educational and health problems.

In some cultures, children are often told they can achieve anything in they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

People believe that they should be able to keep all the money they earn and should not pay tax to the state. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

You joined a sports club recently and are experiencing some problems. Write to the club manager. In your letter Say why you joined the club Explain about the problems you are experiencing Suggest solutions to fix them

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people want governments to spend money looking for life on other planets. Others, however, think this is a waste of public money when there are so many problems on earth. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.