IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people say that a person’s success is as a direct result of the way they were brought up by their parents. Do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
A person's success is thought to be a direct result of their parent's nurture. Though I agree that individuals' growth depends on how they were brought up, I do not think it will completely
affectmatter
Correct your spelling
affect matter
 to our success. On the one hand, it is true that a
parent'sthat
Correct your spelling
parent that
 parent's upbringing plays an important role in the formation of success. They are the ones who shed light on an individual's naive career.
ResearchA
Correct your spelling
research
 research has been made to show that a large part of
people
Use synonyms
 or celebrities who acquire prosperity is partly because of their well-groomed childhood.
For instance
Linking Words
, Do Nhat Nam was formed and guided by his mother in most of his early days.
Hence
Linking Words
, he has recently become one of the most successful
people
Use synonyms
 and won was able to get a scholarship from an Australian university.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, even when we have
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
good nurture from our parents, that does not mean we will be successful. Because they can not be with you in every circumstance. In the future, where you have to stand by your own, effort and bravery are entirely crucial. Take professor Nick Vujicic as an example, he was born without arms and legs. If it had not been
his
Change preposition
for his
show examples
 own persistence, he would not have been an inspirational person to many
people
Use synonyms
 around the world.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the environment is considered
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a successful element. If a child grew in a violent or unsuitable school condition, their talent would not be cultivated.
Consequently
Linking Words
, they will lose
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
track of the development process. In short,
although
Linking Words
 the care of parents is necessary, environment and bravery
also
Linking Words
 contribute to how
people
Use synonyms
 acquire life achievement.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: