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Band 5

Some people claim that many things that children are taught at school are a waste of time. Other people argue that everything that children study at school is useful at sometime. Discuss the both views and give your opinion.

#people #children #school #waste #time #study
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In recent years
aroud
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around
 the
world
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childeren
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children
education
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sytem
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system
 slowly moving towards home
instead
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 of schools. There was big debate towards formal
education
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system
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 that young generation learning skills are completely no useful to leads their
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lives
life
lifes
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lives
show examples
.
Majority
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The majority
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 group of society oppose
this
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 statement due to fact that
formal
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the formal
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education
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system
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 is
helpfull
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helpful
 to handle the technicalities and behaviour
challanges
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challenges
 in
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our
show examples
out side
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outside
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world
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. In my
view
Add a comma
,view
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 the formal
education
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system
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help
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helps
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 a lot in day to day life activities in future. The below discussion going to give both sides with supporting
example
Fix the agreement mistake
examples
show examples
.
Firstly
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, the basic learning skills of kids start from their parents up to
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certain
certaine
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a certaine
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 age limit. The
next
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 step of learning start from our
education
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system
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. The kids are able to get
chance
Correct article usage
a chance
show examples
 in
this
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system
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 to meet different people with various cultures and it will help them to know their life
stlye
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style
 and behaviour. The
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classroom
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class room
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classroom
show examples
 teaching will help them to
expierence
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experience
partical
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practical
 knowledge and the vast experience teachers help to sort out their set of questions.
This
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system
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 will help a lot for their ages to solve the problems in different techniques. It will help in their carrier to solve those
challanges
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challenges
. For
exmaple
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example
, in
case
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the case
a case
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as
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apply
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a software professional if are
suppose
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supposed
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 to work for
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health
helath
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a helath
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 care
system
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 the
basis
Replace the word
basic
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education
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in
Change preposition
at
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your
Change the word
an
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 early age will help to understand the basic nature of work.
However
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, there are
challanges
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challenges
 in
this
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education
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system
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 with
group
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a group
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 of people in your primary
education
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system
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. It is difficult to focus on individual needs and
also
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 there is a scope that other people
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
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 may attract to deviate focus towards the other activities rather than
education
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. As an
example
Add a comma
,example
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 if you didn't choose
right
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the right
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 person friendship
it
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apply
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will lead the kid towards the
veired
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desired
 behaviour activities like drug addicts. The home school
system
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 can avoid
this
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 situation and the
tennager
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teenager
always
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is always
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 under
survivlence
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surveillance
 of parents. The student will get will focus as an individual towards their academic needs. But, it will
leads
Change the verb form
lead
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 these kids nothing to know about
outside
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the outside
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world
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. In conclusion,
the
Remove the article
apply
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both
education
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system
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 have
theire
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their
there
 own positives and negatives.
However
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, the schooling
education
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system
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 will help a lot for
young
Add an article
the young
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 generation to explore
outside
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the outside
show examples
world
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 and learn new techniques toward their professional carrier. The slight changes in
current
Add an article
the current
show examples
education
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system
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 can build
better
Add an article
a better
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 society
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
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next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
generatation
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generation
generations
.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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