IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

It is said that people should be encouraged to get married before they are thirty as this is best both for individuals and society. Do you agree or disagree.

#people #thirty #individuals #society
It is often argued that the best age to get married is before
thirty
that is
also
 good for society and
people
. According to my opinion,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 agree with
this
 statement due to the reason of moral
support
 and happiest
life
 after getting married. To commence with, getting married before
thirty
 leads to
escalate
Change the verb form
escalating
show examples
 success rates in
individual's
Correct article usage
an individual's
show examples
life
.
In other words
, due to the moral
support
 from their
life
 partners,
people
 can concentrate more on their
life
 goals. It
also
 gives mental
support
 to
Add an article
the couple
show examples
couple
Fix the agreement mistake
couples
show examples
.
For instance
, a survey conducted in California in 2016 proved that majority of successful individuals are married
such
 as
billionares
Correct your spelling
billionaires
.
Hence
,
this
 evidence proves that
productivity
Correct article usage
the productivity
show examples
 rate of individuals may increase because of the
support
 from their partners.
Furthermore
,
people
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 good quality of
life
 when they getting married before they are
thirty
such
 as they are more energetic in
this
 age period. To elaborate it,
this
 period of
age
Add an article
the age
show examples
 is a great time because they have
power
Change the article
the power
show examples
 to manage their professional and as well as personal
life
. They can spend good quality time with their children and play with them that lead to
maintain
Change the verb form
maintaining
show examples
 the children's health and they become victorious in future.
This
is
Change the verb form
also leads
show examples
also
 leads to
develop
Change the verb form
developing
show examples
 society on large scale. In conclusion, to be happier and successful in
life
,
people
 should be married before they are
thirty
 in order to enjoy their
life
's precious moments.
Submitted by karan45j on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: