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Band 5.5

People like working for a company rather than starting their own business. Why is this the case? What can be done to encourage people to start their own business?

#people #company #business #case
Nowadays, so many
people
 do not prefer starting their own
businesses
 but
instead
Add a comma
,instead
show examples
 go for working in companies and being employed. There are so many reasons as to why they do so as I am going to discuss in the upcoming fragments. The
first
 one is that currently,
people
 do not want to undertake risks that are involved in starting up
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
show examples
business
 companies. They fear the losses that shall occur in the future or even during the beginning of the
business
such
 as
unable
Add a missing verb
being unable
show examples
 to pay for the taxes which will be imposed on the premises of the
business
.
Secondly
, carrying out new
businesses
 is expensive.
This
 is due to the plots and lands having high rates of prices to be bought by the
people
 who cannot afford
for example
 the middle class and the poor. The costs of production
also
 being high and the need to employ extensive labour which will not be cheap
thus
 leading to pressure and stress to the owner of the
business
. In
this
 case,
people
 restrain from
such
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
 of situations which they are unable to handle.
Therefore
, in order to encourage
people
 to start their own
businesses
, the government should provide loans and funds for the potential investors and reduce taxes
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 are levied on
businesses
. In developing
this
 kind of investment, cheap methods should be created to run these
businesses
. In conclusion, the government needs to play
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
various important roles in promoting
businesses
 to be carried out by the
people
 and secure them for the future.
Submitted by virdeek200 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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