It is common nowadays for each member of the family to have their own piece of modern technology. Some people think this will lead to a break down in family relationships and communication. To what extent do you agree?

#member #piece #technology #people #break #relationships #communication

Nowadays all members of the family have their own modern devices

such

as mobile devices, laptops, tablets, etc. Some people state that

this

would affect family relations and communication.

As a result

, it may cause to break down in

family

Add an article

the family

show examples

However

, I disagree

this

Change preposition

with this

show examples

idea for many reasons. In the following paragraphs, the reasons to support my disagreement will be outlined in detail.

Firstly

, cutting edge automation brings several benefits to people, including developing relationships with others and enhancing communication skills.

Moreover

, the family can find more actives to spend time together by utilizing modern machinery.

For example

, parents can play some educational games with their kids by using a laptop.

Besides

, kids can learn and do their assignments by online channels, and mothers and fathers can help their children to improve communication skills.

In addition

, modern technology can connect family members who live in different places, and it makes them closer.

For instance

, some students have to go study overseas, but they can interact with their parents easily via a VDO call. Another good example is that dad has to work in another province.

Nevertheless

, he can build a relationship with his family by calling them from his tablet. From my perspective, I believe that the cause of breaking down in

family

Correct article usage

the family

show examples

may cause by other factors

such

as carelessness from parents. In conclusion, I totally disagree with the idea that modern technology may reduce the tied between family members. Since people can adapt it to build a strong bond and reduce the distance of their relationship.

Submitted by kanokwann.joy on Sat Sep 04 2021

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

258 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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