IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The continued rise in the world’s population is the greatest problem faced by humanity at the present time. What are the causes of this continued rise? Do you agree that it is the greatest problem faced by humanity?

#rise #world’s #population #humanity #time
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The World's population is increasing at
such
Linking Words
 a high rate each day. I agree with the statement that growth in the planet's population is the biggest challenge faced by humanity during the current time.
This
Linking Words
 growth is leading to various struggles for them
such
Linking Words
 as depleting essential
resources
Use synonyms
 at
faster
Add an article
a faster
show examples
 rate.
Additionally
Linking Words
 , improper family planning is
also
Linking Words
 the biggest reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
Linking Words
 increase.
Firstly
Linking Words
 , the planet has a limited amount of
resources
Use synonyms
. If not used wisely , a shortage of these
resources
Use synonyms
 will occur in the future. The Rise in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 number of people is directly proportional to the rise in
amount
Add an article
the amount
show examples
 of these
resources
Use synonyms
 being exploited by them.
For instance
Linking Words
, if a family has fewer
member
Fix the agreement mistake
members
show examples
then
Linking Words
 they will be needing less water and electricity compared to they need when there are more members. Careful use is of the utmost importance.
On the other hand
Linking Words
 , improper family planning
also
Linking Words
 contributes as one of the causes in
this
Linking Words
 continuous rise. Each family on average is having more than 2
childern
Correct your spelling
children
.
Instead
Linking Words
 of having the quantity , people should focus on the quality. They should consider
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
 family income and plan
accordingly
Linking Words
. If there are more people
then
Linking Words
 the income should be more to
fullfil
Correct your spelling
fulfil
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
 needs.
For example
Linking Words
, if family income is not sufficient to satisfy the needs of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
one child
Add a hyphen
one-child
show examples
 and
family
Correct article usage
the family
show examples
 has three , in
such
Linking Words
cases
Add a comma
,cases
show examples
 neither of the children will get the proper facilities like education. In conclusion, thoughtful use of
resources
Use synonyms
 , proper family planning , restricted number of
childern
Correct your spelling
children
 in each family can help to resolve the above issues. At
last
Linking Words
 , in order to reduce the struggle of humanity ,
resources
Use synonyms
needs
Change the verb form
need
show examples
 to be used thoughtfully and population growth.
Submitted by ashi.bdps on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: