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Band 6

The continued rise in the world’s population is the greatest problem faced by humanity at the present time. What are the causes of this continued rise? Do you agree that it is the greatest problem faced by humanity?

#rise #world’s #population #humanity #time
The World's population is increasing at
such
 a high rate each day. I agree with the statement that growth in the planet's population is the biggest challenge faced by humanity during the current time.
This
 growth is leading to various struggles for them
such
 as depleting essential
resources
 at
faster
Add an article
a faster
show examples
 rate.
Additionally
 , improper family planning is
also
 the biggest reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
 increase.
Firstly
 , the planet has a limited amount of
resources
. If not used wisely , a shortage of these
resources
 will occur in the future. The Rise in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 number of people is directly proportional to the rise in
amount
Add an article
the amount
show examples
 of these
resources
 being exploited by them.
For instance
, if a family has fewer
member
Fix the agreement mistake
members
show examples
then
 they will be needing less water and electricity compared to they need when there are more members. Careful use is of the utmost importance.
On the other hand
 , improper family planning
also
 contributes as one of the causes in
this
 continuous rise. Each family on average is having more than 2
childern
Correct your spelling
children
.
Instead
 of having the quantity , people should focus on the quality. They should consider
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
 family income and plan
accordingly
. If there are more people
then
 the income should be more to
fullfil
Correct your spelling
fulfil
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
 needs.
For example
, if family income is not sufficient to satisfy the needs of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
one child
Add a hyphen
one-child
show examples
 and
family
Correct article usage
the family
show examples
 has three , in
such
cases
Add a comma
,cases
show examples
 neither of the children will get the proper facilities like education. In conclusion, thoughtful use of
resources
 , proper family planning , restricted number of
childern
Correct your spelling
children
 in each family can help to resolve the above issues. At
last
 , in order to reduce the struggle of humanity ,
resources
needs
Change the verb form
need
show examples
 to be used thoughtfully and population growth.
Submitted by ashi.bdps on

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