IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In many countries today, the eating habits and lifestyle of children are different from those of previous generations. Some people say this has had a negative effect on their health. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#countries #habits #lifestyle #children #generations #people #effect #health
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Nowadays
children
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 are more addicted
with
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to
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 fast
food
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 and
sedentary
Correct article usage
a sedentary
show examples
Use synonyms
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
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life
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lifestyle
show examples
style
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. Most parents think
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this
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of this
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 as a positive development without knowing the demerits. I personally disagree with
this
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 habit of
chidren
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children
 since it can cause many
health
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issues
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 in future.
This
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 essay will
explan
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explain
 about
this
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 topic in detail.
To begin
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 with, today's
generation
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 became more unhealthy than past because of city
life
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. The living
style
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 of city people is entirely different from the countryside humans.
Children
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 are becoming busy because of heavy school works and not finding time for themselves to even play during weekdays.
However
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,
weekends
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at weekends
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 they will be busy
with
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apply
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playing computer or mobile games. Perhaps, lacking physical activities can
leads
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lead
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 to many
health
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issues
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 likes obesity or even social withdrawing. To exemplify, inactiveness can hurt physical
health
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 as well as mental
health
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worstly
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worst
 when days go.
Furthermore
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, present
generation
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 kids are not lucky to enjoy homely
food
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 because of working parents. Due to their tight working
schedule
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,schedule
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 many parents are depending
fast
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on fast
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food
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 centres to feed their
children
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.
Moreover
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,
this
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 became the habit of the
chidren
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children
 once they adapted
with
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to
show examples
 outside
food
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 styles. Because
of
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apply
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frequent intakes of
restraunt
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restaurant
food
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 may cause many
health
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issues
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 to the
children
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 because of added
food
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 colours and preservatives. To exemplify, many
chidren
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children
 are struggling with stomach or colon cancer due to
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this
Correct determiner usage
these
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fast
Add a hyphen
fast-food
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food
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 habits. To sum up, sedentary
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Correct your spelling
lifestyle
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life
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lifestyle
show examples
style
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 and non-healthy
food
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 habits are real
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life threatening
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life-threatening
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issues
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 to the growing
generation
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. So
i
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I
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 strongly agree with the point that, eating habits and living
style
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 of
current
Add an article
the current
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generation
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 has changed a lot and it is causing lots of
health
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issues
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 too.
Submitted by divyahemakumar2017 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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