Some people think all lawbreakers should be put into prison, while others believe that there are better alternatives. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.”

#people #lawbreakers #prison #alternatives

The way to punish

crime

has caused a heated debate

whether

Change preposition

about whether

show examples

all criminals deserve to serve a prison sentence or

there

Correct word choice

whether there

show examples

are better alternatives. From my perspective,

although

both measures have their own benefits, a flexible solution is highly recommended. On the one hand, imprisonment can help reduce the number of

crimes

significantly. First of all, jailing is one of the most effective ways to punish and educate prisoners. Thanks to long prison time and harsh punishment, prisoners might not re-offend for fear of being detained again. As a matter of fact, there are statistics that show a large percentage of ex-prisoners after being released have turned into good citizens and successfully reintegrated into society. Second of all, long prison time

also

acts as a deterrent to those who have the intention to commit

crimes

. They want to embark on a path of

crime

because they have not realized how harsh punishments are.

Consequently

, people would give up the thought of engaging in illegal acts.

On the other hand

, there are several better ways to deal with

crimes

that should be suitable for each case. First of all, those committing petty

crimes

should be educated rather than imprisoned.

This

is because there are numerous reasons leading to a path of

crime

such

as poverty or lack of education.

Therefore

, the government should establish vocational schools for these criminals so they can get decent jobs and stable lives.

Secondly

, the authorities can make use of talented prisoners.

For instance

Change preposition

for a

show examples

convict who is caught because of hacking into the system

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the police must have expertise in cyber security.

Therefore

, if the police offer him a job in

this

area he will have opportunities to be a productive member of society. In conclusion, the ultimate purpose of any law is to create a better society, so for each

crime

, we should strive to find the most appropriate action that reduces any future harm.

Submitted by lekhanhhoa1208 on Sun Sep 05 2021

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task response

Ensure a clear and direct response to all aspects of the essay question

coherence cohesion

Maintain a clear and organized structure throughout the essay, with effective use of linking words and cohesive devices

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

322 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think all lawbreakers should be put into prison, while others believe that there are better alternatives. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.”

Include an introduction and conclusion

The school library is seeking applicants for a job over summer break. Write a letter tothe library’s manager. In your letter include: - A brief introduction of yourself - Your experience and relevant skills - Why you want the job

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctors. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Some people think young people should be required to have full time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that success is the best measure for intelligence, while others think that intelligence can be measured in other ways. What is your opinion?

Films and computer games which contain violence are very popular. Some people believe they have a negative effect on society and so should be banned. Other people, however, say they are just harmless and help people to relax. Discuss both these points of view and give your own opinion.