IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#aim #science #people #lives
It is claimed that the most significant goal of
science
 had better be to enhance the quality of individuals'
lives
.
This
 idea seems to be agreed on account of inventions that have made
people
's
lives
 easier
as well as
 numerous diseases that have been cured. One major drive of the practicality of
such
 a notion would be that through
science
 many gadgets have been invented, which can be seen in every aspect of daily life.
This
 is not to say that all
people
 use these devices, but those using these technologies feel better in their
lives
. An example of
such
 innovations could be seen in fast commuting.
Although
 a minority of
people
 might work remotely, a majority of employees use autonomous cars or subways in order to go to work.
This
, gradually, would reduce human interference with driving, so fewer traffic jams would happen.
This
, in the long run, would make
people
 happy;
hence
, the most important aim of
science
 should be to improve human
lives
. A second rationale for the success of the theory that
science
 ought to be used for
such
 a purpose would be that
science
 prevents disorders that
people
 might suffer from. Scientists could discover the cures of numerous diseases, two of which would be HIV and stroke. In doing so,
people
, gradually, would feel less stressed; in the long run, they would live longer than they used to.
This
 approach,
hence
, would be appropriate. In light of the above-mentioned analysis, concerning the question of whether the most fundamental goal of
science
 had better be to improve
people
's
lives
 or not,
this
 idea seems to be agreed
due
Change preposition
upon due
show examples
 to the convenience which individuals might feel stems from the inventions which come from
science
 and numerous problems which can be solved.
Submitted by ielts7683 on

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clear comprehensive ideas
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introduction conclusion present
The essay effectively presents a clear introduction and conclusion, reinforcing the main argument sufficiently.
logical structure
The logical structure of the essay is sound, with each paragraph addressing distinct aspects of the central idea.

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • technological advancements
  • medical discoveries
  • life-changing inventions
  • innovations
  • solutions to human problems
  • enhancing quality of life
  • improvement of healthcare
  • transportation
  • communication
  • agriculture
  • energy sectors
  • eradication of diseases
  • prolongation of life expectancy
  • global challenges
  • climate change
  • overpopulation
  • food security
  • developed world
  • underprivileged communities
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