IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

In some cultures old age is more valued, while in other cultures youth is more valued. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#cultures #age #youth
It is been argued that the public playground should be considered for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
residential or commercial purposes as the population is rising at a staggering rate and it will
also
 boost the economy of the country rather than
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
just relaxation.
This
 essay completely agrees with the aforementioned notion as it will help in saving nature as well as money. Pollution is the cause of concern for the number of years from the recent years, deforestation has just made it worse as the population is on the rise with that the demand for the area for living in the small light has ignited
this
 concern.
For example
, the countries like China, India are on the top of the list where pollution has blunted almost all natural resources and other countries are
also
 joining them rather than taking a lesson from them. Using the garden for these purposes will
also
 help in saving the money which ,
otherwise
, would have been used on the maintenance of the parks and can be put in the use for more important areas
such
 as health, road repair etcetera.
This
 will
also
 encourage the populace to build their own garden and grow trees in the backyard to enjoy pristine nature.
For example
, countries like in India most people grow vegetables and fruits on the backside of their houses as there are not too many
lawn
Change to a plural noun
lawns
show examples
 available because of the population. To conclude, building business places and homes in place public parks have a number of benefits which eventually helps in the growth of the country and prompts people to grow trees in their homes.
Submitted by rs376635 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: