IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Accurately, every coin has two sides, and so are the
people
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. Society’s
people
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 are divided into two groups and
therefore
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, in some countries, individuals reckon that it is essential to spend
amount
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the amount
an amount
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 of money on infrastructure new railway lines for comforting access between places
whereas
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, in others' opinion, the money must be spent on progressing public transport.
This
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 essay will compare and contrast both of the opinions
along with
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 my opinion.
To begin
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 with, constructing new facilities in trains
such
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 as ‘railway’ is significant.
Firstly
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, the foremost reason behind it is that
people
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 often need relaxation and have a break time after hard work.
According to
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 several news reports like BBC and others, the statement is said.
Secondly
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, juveniles adore to access the world
as
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in
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 the safest and easiest way.
For instance
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, not only Ronaldo likes to reach his hometown as soon as possible but
also
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 his parents like to see his son and his achievements.
Therefore
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, amenities can help youth and others to spend their life in the easiest method.
On the other hand
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, increasing public transport has some effect in the cities. One of the main underlying reasons stems from the fact that pollution gradually decreased during the technology of public Taxis or Buses growing. To cite an example, some technological vehicles have a catalyst.
Moreover
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, global warming in the world must be dropped in order for future men and women can live in a tranquil atmosphere.
As a result
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, apart from the reasons mentioned above, it can be clearly stated why many are in favour of the trend. In conclusion, I firmly believe that if we could consider both work by some economic budgets, we can overcome the above problems.
However
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, it will depend upon the mindsets of the
people
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 and which view they are in favour of.

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task response
Try to address the prompt more directly by clearly outlining both perspectives and then giving your opinion more prominently.
task response
Ensure each main point you make is fully developed and well-supported with relevant examples or explanations. Your examples should be more specific and detailed.
coherence cohesion
Your essay structure is good, but sentences can be better connected to ensure smooth transitions between ideas. Use more cohesive devices to link sentences and paragraphs effectively.
coherence cohesion
Avoid repetition of ideas and ensure each paragraph has a clear central point or argument that contributes to your overall opinion.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction is effective in setting up the debate, introducing both perspectives clearly.
task response
You managed to cover both viewpoints, showing a balanced discussion which is important for completing the task.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • infrastructure
  • efficient
  • congestion
  • sustainable
  • environmentally friendly
  • connectivity
  • economic growth
  • public transportation
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