IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that current environmental issues are global problems and should therefore be dealt with by the government. Others think that these problems can only be dealt with by individuals. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #government #individuals
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It is considered by some
people
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 that present problems pertaining to the environment should be confronted by the government while others think these should be dealt
by
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with by
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people
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 themselves. I believe in my opinion, world
issues
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 should be dealt
at
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with at
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 an individual level
such
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 as by the
people
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 in a country.
This
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 essay will discuss both sides of
this
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 argument and arrive at a conclusion. On one hand,
issues
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such
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 as global warming should
addressed
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be addressed
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 by governments by place certain restrictions because
this
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 will force
people
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 to change their behaviour for the greater good.
For instance
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, increase the price of petrol will reduce the demand for
petrol driven
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petrol-driven
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 cars. Thereby
people
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 demanding for more eco-friendly cars
such
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 as electric or
solar powered
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solar-powered
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 vehicles.
However
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,
this
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 is not sufficient to put a stop to global
issues
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 since control must be enforced at an individual level as well.
People
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 must be able to
to
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apply
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think and act in a manner knowing their actions will leave a universal impact.
For example
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, consumers must stop the consumption of plastic packaging since they take 100 plus years to degrade.
This
Linking Words
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this
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apply
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will force companies to find alternative methods despite the high costs.
In addition
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, parents should
also
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 teach their children to act sensible and make them understand the importance of sensible decision making that can impact on a global scale. In conclusion, is it evident that
although
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 governments could place certain restrictions to minimise global
issues
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,
but
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apply
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this
Linking Words
 only is not sufficient as individual
people
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 need to make smart
decision
Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
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 to minimise their global imprint as well as teach their younger generations
.
Change the punctuation
?
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Submitted by arthurhewz on

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