IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

With growing population in cities, more and more people live in a home with small or no outdoor areas. Is it a positive or negative development?

#population #cities #people #home #areas #development
We live in an ever-changing world, society is changing in significant ways. A clear example of
this
 can be seen in the increasing number of
people
 who are living in a house which is small or no outdoor spaces.In
this
 essay, the positive and negative impacts of these issues will be discussed as well as my personal opinion regarding
this
 issue. On one hand, the smaller flats have some positive effects on individuals.In modern society,
people
 should spend much time at work, so if
people
 have a small house, it will make reducing the time for maintaining.
In addition
, the
people
 chose the smaller apartments because of the low cost.So the small homes will help
people
 stay in the city.
On the other hand
,
this
 housing trend has a significant negative impact. One consideration is that the limitation of open spaces for physical activities discourages citizens to do workouts.
This
 sedentary lifestyle makes
people
 more prone to the risk of developing some form of
diseases
Fix the agreement mistake
disease
show examples
such
 as obesity or diabetes.
Furthermore
, lack of space leads to a lack of privacy which might result in interest conflicts between family members.
For example
, children might find it very difficult to find a quiet place to concentrate on their homework while their parents are watching television. In a nutshell, in terms of time and
money
Add a comma
,money
show examples
 the houses with small or no outdoor areas can give positive impacts.
However
, the negative effects are much bigger and serious. I strongly believe that it does more harm than good.
People
 should consider
this
 problem and try to find a solution to
this
 issue.
Submitted by d.meshbah on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: