most countries aim to improve their standard of living through economic development, but many important social values can be lost as a result. agree or disagree

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Although
several nations enhance living conditions via financial development, many
skeptics
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sceptics
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assume that some social values might disappear gradually. The writer advocates that the benefits of economic growth including job prospects
along with
a better healthcare system outweigh the drawback of local cuisines becoming unpopular. It is crucial to understand that if the financial sector witnesses an increase, there will be more well-paid jobs for local residents. To explain in more detail, a thriving
economy
always requires cooperation among numerous nations. Indeed, the
government
encourages international corporations that recruit a huge amount of local employees to set up their branches in these countries.
As a result
, these companies offer a higher salary compared to the local business, leading to more opportunities to seek a good career. Consider China as a prime example, where there has been a large number of international companies building factories and the average income per person of
this
nation always reaches a peak for a decade. A higher quality healthcare system is considered another advantageous factor of economic prosperity.
This
is because the companies having a big profit have to pay more taxes to the
government
, and
then
these funds are allocated to improve the healthcare facilities and research in order to modernize treatments.
For
this
reason, the citizens are treated by modern and effective therapies, resulting in an increase in life expectations. 
However
, rapid progress in the
economy
can lead to the extinction of many local dishes.
Due to
the fact that international transactions require both import and export, each nation has to balance them.
Therefore
, if the countries depend totally on exporting to boost the
economy
, they must import goods from other ones, especially food.
Consequently
, the influx of foreign foods makes people consume them and avoid the local ones.
This
point may be valid, but the
government
can export their traditional cuisines all over the world
as well as
popularize their characteristics. In conclusion, the disadvantage of losing local tastes is outweighed by the advantages of job opportunities and better health conditions.
Hence
, it has been shown that the
government
should develop the
economy
with the purpose of improving living conditions.
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coherence cohesion
To further improve the logical structure, ensure that each paragraph flows more smoothly into the next. Use more linking phrases and transitions. For example, phrases like 'Furthermore,' or 'Additionally,' can help to connect ideas more clearly.
task achievement
In some instances, explanations can be more detailed. Providing deeper analysis and elaboration on how job prospects and better healthcare are linked to economic growth would reinforce the argument.
general
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy, particularly with article usage (e.g., 'a higher salary' vs. 'higher salary'). Although your mistakes are minor, eliminating them will enhance clarity and professionalism.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, making it easy for the reader to follow the main argument.
task achievement
The examples given, such as China with international companies, add weight to the argument and provide clear, relevant examples to support the claims.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • standard of living
  • economic development
  • quality of life
  • infrastructure
  • healthcare
  • education
  • job opportunities
  • unemployment
  • poverty
  • technological advancements
  • innovation
  • traditional cultural values
  • social bonds
  • material wealth
  • consumerism
  • social inequality
  • environmental conservation
  • wealth gap
  • vulnerable groups
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