IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Every country should have a free health service, even if this means that the latest medical treatments may not be available through the service because they are too expensive. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#country #health #service #treatments
Every
country
 should have a free
health
service
 even if
this
 means that the recent medical
equipment
 may not be available through
this
service
. To provide a non-payment
health
service
 to the
citizens
 by the
government
 can be very expensive and cost a lot for the
government
. I am of the opinion that it should be paid for.
However
, it could be subsidized by the
government
, so as to accommodate all range of people in the
country
, from the low-income earners to the very high-income earners.
Firstly
,
health
 stability is very important and should not be ignored by
citizens
.
However
, if the
citizens
 are not charged any
amount
 at all for the
service
 provided by the doctors, it will not be valued.
For instance
, a doctor fixes an appointment for a patient, but because the
service
 is not been paid for, it can be treated with negligence compared to if a particular
amount
 was paid for the
service
.
Furthermore
, every medical
equipment
 needs to be maintained for a long life span,
also
 the drugs and treatment have to be purchased when they finish, all thises cost a particular
amount
.
in other
words
Add a comma
,words
show examples
 a non-payment
health
service
 cannot be sustainable for a
country
. When a subsidized
amount
 is paid for the
health
service
,
this
 fee can be sued to maintain the
equipment
.
Also
, paying a reduced fee for the
health
 aid will encourage the citizen to visit the hospital often without an excuse of having to be charged the high cost for the
service
.
In addition
, when a subsidized
amount
 is paid for the well-being
service
 provided,
this
 will help the
government
 to provide adequate
health
 care facilities for
citizens
 in need,
also
 been able to maintain the facilities. On
this
 note, the recent medical treatment and
equipment
 purchased
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 can be used but at a subsidized
amount
 and the
health
 maintenance organization (HMO) plan can help provide a wide range of
health
 care services in the
country
.
Submitted by omole.e.oluseyi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: