In the past, shopping was a routine domestic task. Many people nowadays regard it as a hobby. To what extant do you think this is a positive trend?

It is undeniable that many humans at the present are often thinking that shopping is a
hobby
due to there can make them happy from working hard
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
each day, but
people
in the past think that shopping was
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
routine residential work. From my point of view, I think that
this
development can offer both positive trend and negative trend. In the following paragraph, the reasons to support my opinion will be outlined in the detail. In my opinion, I think that shopping is a
hobby
of modern
people
because many
people
are working hard, nowadays, they will feel good and comfortable when they walk slowly in the big shopping mall after they finish their work.
Additionally
, everyone in the modern city can easily access shopping than in the past because many technologies are developed,
such
as they can buy many goods from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
online shopping without going outside their home or their company. While humans from the old days must go
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
shopping mall only when they want to buy something, and going to these shops was difficult in the past due to the transportation has not been developed as much as today.
As a result
,
people
at the present time are frequently thinking that shopping is their
hobby
or activity rather than
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
routine housework.
However
, I think that the easy accessibility of shopping of modern
people
can cause
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
negative behaviour,
for instance
, they will not feel relax if they cannot buy something, and when they go to the store, they will feel that they need to buy somethings to take home,
although
they do not need to buy it. In conclusion, I strongly think that
this
improvement can offer positive and negative
trend
Fix the agreement mistake
trends
show examples
.
Therefore
, it is recommended that it is not wrong to think that shopping is a
hobby
due to hobbies are whatever makes them happy.
Submitted by kitsanayuiyui on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumerism
  • retail therapy
  • materialism
  • disposable income
  • economic growth
  • financial instability
  • environmental impact
  • social interaction
  • community building
  • emotional satisfaction
  • advertising influence
  • shopping habits
What to do next:
Look at other essays: