In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. You should use your own ideas, knowledge, and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words
For some citizens of different countries, fatness is accepted as a main
problem
, Use synonyms
additionally
, Linking Words
people
think that street Use synonyms
food
Use synonyms
advertisements
are the major Use synonyms
problem
about Use synonyms
this
issue and should be forbidden. Linking Words
Nevertheless
, others believe that unhealthy Linking Words
food
Use synonyms
advertisements
do not contain any Use synonyms
problem
about heaviness and should not be banned. In my opinion, self-awareness is important for everyone's life and Use synonyms
people
who are working for street Use synonyms
food
Use synonyms
advertisements
, or working in Use synonyms
restaurants
which sell unhealthy Use synonyms
food
just do their jobs, and earn money. And sometimes eating from these Use synonyms
restaurants
can be enjoyable for us, but all Use synonyms
people
have to balance their diet.
Generally, the main problems of obesity are not doing any exercise and some issues with a balanced diet. Use synonyms
Advertisements
are designed to be attractive Use synonyms
for
society, Change preposition
to
however
, it doesn't mean that they are making choices about our lives. Every person since their teenagehood has to learn about their body and what is good for them. Linking Words
As well as
Linking Words
,
obesity is a Remove the comma
apply
problem
that can be solved. Use synonyms
People
go to the gym, have trainers, and try to keep themselves away from junk Use synonyms
food
just because of their bodies and their weight.
Use synonyms
In addition
, in fast Linking Words
food
Use synonyms
restaurants
, there are plenty of Use synonyms
people
who work and make money. If these Use synonyms
restaurants
are banned, Use synonyms
then
all the staff of Linking Words
restaurants
will quit their jobs or will get fired and it will make thousands of Use synonyms
people
unemployed. Use synonyms
Also
, all of us enjoy eating a few alternatives to fast Linking Words
food
, and accepting it as a reward after a long diet. Junk Use synonyms
food
is Use synonyms
also
a cheaper choice among other foods and it's very easy and fast to make. So on, it is the best choice to order junk Linking Words
food
for just one, if anybody doesn't have enough time to prepare a meal or go to the restaurant
All in all, it is very important for citizens to take care of their health, and not blame anyone because of other's physical appearance.Use synonyms
Submitted by i.nureddinn on
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task achievement
Your essay would benefit from more specific examples to support your viewpoint. Including relevant statistics or real-life case studies could add weight to your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Some sentences could be clearer. Ensure that each sentence contributes to the clarity of your main points and avoid overly complex sentence structures.
task achievement
Your essay provides a balanced discussion, addressing both sides of the argument effectively.
coherence cohesion
The introduction sets the stage for the essay nicely, and the conclusion successfully wraps up your main points.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.