IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Computers have made the world a better place to live in. Do you agree or disagree?

It is a widespread belief that
computers
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 have greatly
ameliorate
Wrong verb form
ameliorated
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 the quality of living. With the growing prevalence of
computers
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, it became easier to complete tasks, keep in touch with people and find the required
information
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.
This
Linking Words
 essay will explore why I support
this
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 idea. First of all, the impact of computer integration is paramount in terms of managing the workflow. Needless to say,
computers
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 highly assist
to automate
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in automating
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 miscellaneous routine tasks and processes.
This
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 way,
bussineses
Correct your spelling
businesses
 can accumulate more attention to the aspects of work which carry
bigger
Correct word choice
greater
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 importance. To exemplify, the usage of Exel is a great substitution for manually written databases.
Secondly
Linking Words
, there is a huge
amout
Correct your spelling
amount
 of
information
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 stored
in
Change preposition
on
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 the computer and, in
particulary
Correct your spelling
particular
, on the
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
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. Regarding
this
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, it is now miles easier to find the needed
information
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. In today's
world
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world,
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 there is no more need to go to the library and spend hours finding the answer.
Instead
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, it is possible to get the answer in just a few seconds, by typing your question in the search line of the web browser.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, with the help of
computers
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 and modern
technologies
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technologies,
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 it is now possible to find contacts of your old friends or relatives and keep in touch with them.
This
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 was achieved by the
tansformation
Correct your spelling
transformation
 in communication, when emails and social media were introduced. All things considered, it is my firm conviction that
computers
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 upgraded the way we live.
Moreover
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,
introduction
Add an article
the introduction
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 of
computers
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 into the
bussineses
Correct your spelling
business
 brought about a huge transformation. By means of
computers
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, it ultimately became less
time consuming
Add a hyphen
time-consuming
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 to complete tasks and find
desired
Add an article
the desired
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information
Use synonyms
.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly state your opinion in the introduction. This helps the reader know your position right away.
coherence and cohesion
Revise your sentences for clarity. Some sentences are a bit hard to follow and can be simplified.
task achievement
Check for spelling mistakes, such as 'bussineses' instead of 'businesses' and 'Exel' instead of 'Excel'. This can affect your score.
task achievement
Use more detailed examples to support your points. Personal stories or specific cases can make your arguments stronger.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
You effectively presented the benefits of computers in daily life, which is relevant to the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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