IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Computers have made the world a better place to live in. Do you agree or disagree?

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First of all, I need to point out that
computers
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 are
important
Add an article
an important
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 part of our lives. Some
people
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 spend
the
Change the word
their
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 entire days playing games or watching TV series on them.
Basically
Add a comma
Basically,
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 at some point,
computers
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 excluded TVs from our lives and became the TV
itselves
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itself
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, other
people
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 work from home using
computers
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 as
they
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 main
resource
Correct your spelling
source
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 of income, they earn money because they have
opportunity
Correct article usage
the opportunity
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 to work from home using the
computers
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 and stay safe and sound without leaving their houses. And
the
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apply
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most important, some
people
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 can't imagine their
life
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 without
computers
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 at all as they are
important
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an important
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 part of their
everyday's
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everyday
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life
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.
Moreover
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, today we've been
introdused
Correct your spelling
introduced
 to Chat GPT and it completely changed
entire
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the entire
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 world. Let me explain and point out the main advantages of using Chat GPT on
computers
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 and
our
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apply
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smartphones: 1) it's convenient and easy. 2) It knows almost everything that you would like to figure out or search on the Internet but Chat GPT will do that for you so you might become
much
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a much
the much
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 smarter guy :) 3) It's free.
Yeap
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Yes
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, and everyone likes a free
staff
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stuff
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, you know.
Computers
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 are
also
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 very important to our economy and science as they produce different products and stabilise the economy
in
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apply
show examples
overall
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.
People
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 can't develop anymore without
computers
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 and they allow us to progress rapidly and we can
also
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 consume something new from them and
as a result
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 -
to
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apply
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improve
computers
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 in order to make our
life
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 better! To sum everything up, I would like to say that
computers
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 have made the world a better place to live in and inspired me to learn IT so I could communicate with
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
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on
Change preposition
in
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 his language and drastically improve my own
life
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 because of it.

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task achievement
Try to develop your main points further with explanations or examples. For instance, when discussing the impact of computers, providing specific examples related to your arguments would strengthen your points.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear focus and flows logically. Some points in your essay could be more organized to improve clarity and help the reader follow your argument more easily.
coherence and cohesion
Work on grammatical accuracy, such as plural forms and sentence structure. There were a few minor errors that, while not overly distracting, could improve your overall score with attentiveness to detail.
task achievement
You have a clear stance on the topic, which is essential for the task.
task achievement
You included several relevant points about computers and their advantages, showing your understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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