IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some people believe that violent films are bad for you and encourage people to be violent. Others argue that violence and films are unrelated because violence existed before the films.

#people #films #violence
Violence
 is a very heated topic in today world. Some
people
 believed that violent
films
 are bad for you and encourage
people
 to be violent. Meanwhile, others argue that
violence
 and
films
 are unrelated because
violence
 existed before the
films
. Today I shall discuss both points of view and give my personal opinion about
this
 topic in the following paragraph.
To begin
 with, most
people
 think that violent
films
 influence
people
 to act like it because humans can learn aggressive action in the movie and try to do the same thing as the best way to offer interesting knowledge to
people
 is through
films
 and shows.
However
, I disagree with
this
 idea since there are only a very low number of crimes that were influenced by
films
 and only a psychopath would act as violently as in shows.
On the other hand
, I totally agree with the
second
 idea as the creation of the film industry has only existed for around 500 years ago. Meanwhile,
violence
 had been inside of all human beings since the very
first
 day of history.
In addition
, activities like hunting, slavery and even history characters and events made violent acts or helps writers and directors have ideas so it got turned into
films
 Taking everything into conclusion, it is clear that
films
 have nothing to do or are related to
violence
 and crims acts. And we should all enjoy those action
films
 as an entertaining method to kill the time.
Submitted by danghoangtrung176 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: