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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Question: Computer are being used more and more in education. Some people say this is a positive trend, while others argue that it is leading to negative consequences. Discuss both views and give tour opinion.

#computer #education #people #trend #consequences #tour
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These days, the development of technologies in
favor
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favour
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 of
education
 provides various benefits to nowadays
students
.
However
, some people believe that online learning
also
 has some drawbacks. In
this
 essay, I will explain the negative views and positive views of studying through computers and express my perspective about the statement. The advancements of a computer promote
the
Correct article usage
apply
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equality to all
students
 across the world, regardless of nationality, financial statement, and location.
Students
 can access the quality lesson, and get the degree by their true potential.
For example
,
Thai
Add an article
a Thai
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 student who lives in
the
Correct article usage
a
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 poor family and a remote area can secure
the
Correct article usage
a
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 bachelor degree in
the
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apply
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business management from Harward university in
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 ,without having
massive
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a massive
the massive
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 budget for living and
traveling
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travelling
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 to
USA
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the USA
show examples
.
Therefore
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
education
 developed via online computers provides the opportunity to every
students
Change to a singular noun
student
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 who want to improve their well being by
education
.
Although
 there are various benefits of remote learning, it
also
 has some drawbacks due to less effectiveness. According to the published researches from the Ministry of
education
 in Thailand, only 10
Fix the agreement mistake
percent
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percents
Correct your spelling
per cent
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 of
students
participated
Correct pronoun usage
who participated
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 in online
education
 can
accomplished
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accomplish
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 the degree compared to those studying via face to face with teachers in class. These aforementioned
report
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reports
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 can be concluded that the efficacy of online learning is less than the conservative learning methods as
students
 need to use more willpower to focus on the lesson through the small screen of a computer. In conclusion, in my opinion, the advantages of computers in
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
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 of
education
 outnumber its disadvantages as it is able to decrease the disparity of studying opportunities, and improve the livelihood of people across the world by providing the quality
knowledges
Change the wording
knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
show examples
 for everyone.
Submitted by prokoh_ja_555 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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