IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8

More and more people no longer read newspapers or watch TV programmes to get their news and instead read online. Is this a positive or negative development?

#people #newspapers #tv #programmes #news #development
Nowadays, many people are familiar with reading on the Internet as an alternative to reading tidings or watching TV shows to update their news and knowledge. From my point of view, I reckon that
this
 is an advantageous development for some reasons mentioned in
this
 essay. On the one hand, there are a few drawbacks to reading online.
Firstly
, many fake and untruthful information is floating online. The Internet is a place where people can post anything they want.
Therefore
, there is plenty of unverified information and it has a bad impact on readers.
Secondly
, people can easily lose concentration on reading. If readers do not turn on “do not disturb” mode
while
 reading, they can be affected by notifications from many applications or advertisements on the website and their reading experience will be interrupted.
Thirdly
, their health will
also
 be influenced. Spending too much time on screen can lead to many health issues
such
 as short-eye sighted state, and neck and back problems.
On the other hand
, reading online brings many benefits to readers. First and foremost, users can access data quickly and conveniently. They only need digital devices with an internet connection to be able to surf the web.
Secondly
, viewing online tidings helps save money. Most digital bulletin websites provide viewers with free information which helps them not have to pay money to buy printed newspapers.
Last
 but not least, it contributes to environmental protection. Accessing digital info means that the use of paper to make newspapers is reduced and the energy used for printing will
also
 be decreased. In conclusion, I hold a firm belief that reading online on the website is more beneficial than its drawbacks and
this
 is a positive development. The importance is that each individual must know how to use it for the right purpose so that reading online will be effective
Submitted by ieltswritingpracticedl on

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task achievement
While you've presented a comprehensive argument, it would be beneficial to provide more specific examples to illustrate your points. This will make your essay more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Consider using more varied vocabulary and sentence structures. This will help to maintain the reader's interest and demonstrate a higher level of English proficiency.
coherence cohesion
You've done a great job in presenting a clear introduction and conclusion, which aids in the overall comprehension of the essay.
task achievement
The essay effectively addresses both sides of the argument and provides a balanced view. This demonstrates a thorough understanding of the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • revolutionized
  • convenient
  • accessible
  • investigative journalism
  • real-time updates
  • proliferation
  • information overload
  • discern
  • misinformation
  • fake news
  • environmental benefits
  • personalize
  • echo chambers
  • political engagement
  • awareness
  • traditional means
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