IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: Many people in poor countries die from diseases that are curable because they cannot afford the medication required. Do you believe that drug companies should make their products available at reduced prices in these countries? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience. Write at least 250 words.

#minutes #topic #people #countries #diseases #curable #medication #drug #companies #products #prices
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IT is a well-known fact that countless
life
Use synonyms
 had
lost
Add a missing verb
been lost
show examples
 in
third
Linking Words
 world
countries
Use synonyms
 because many
people
Use synonyms
 cannot afford
medication
Use synonyms
. I totally agree with the notion that state pharmaceutical
companies
Use synonyms
 should make drugs affordable in
these area
Change the determiner
this area
these areas
show examples
. The reasons will be discussed in the upcoming paragraphs.
Firstly
Linking Words
, we have to bear in mind that majority of the
people
Use synonyms
 in these
countries
Use synonyms
 are
working
Add a hyphen
working-class
show examples
class
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
.
Which
Correct pronoun usage
This
show examples
 means
people
Use synonyms
 have to
work
Use synonyms
 7
days
Use synonyms
 a
week
Use synonyms
 in
order
Use synonyms
 to make their living. The job they do are mostly hard labour which is physically
demending
Correct your spelling
demanding
 and are more prone to get easily injured.
Subsequently
Linking Words
, when they do get injured many
people
Use synonyms
 are not likely to recover and spend most of their limited
days
Use synonyms
 in
pain
Use synonyms
, because they simply cannot afford the medicine or operation they required.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, for a
person
Use synonyms
 who was born in
underdeveloped
Correct article usage
an underdeveloped
show examples
 country (Myanmar) I have experienced
these
Change the determiner
this kind
these kinds
show examples
kind
Use synonyms
 of situation
first
Linking Words
 hand. Many
people
Use synonyms
 in our public hospitals are dying because
medication
Use synonyms
 as simple as paracetamol is
way
Use synonyms
 over the budget of the patients.
In addition
Linking Words
, many children are still
Replace the word
losing
show examples
loosing
Correct your spelling
losing
show examples
 their
life
Use synonyms
 to polio because vaccines are too
overprice
Change the form of the verb
overpriced
show examples
 for the lower
class
Use synonyms
citizen
Use synonyms
 to get their hands on. The worst thing I have seen was that after a major surgery a
person
Use synonyms
 was in terrible
pain
Use synonyms
 because
painkiller
Correct article usage
a painkiller
show examples
 was a luxurious good that he cannot afford.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the majority of the
people
Use synonyms
 in these
countries
Use synonyms
 are working-
class
Use synonyms
 citizens who have to
work
Use synonyms
 seven
days
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a
week
Use synonyms
 in
order
Use synonyms
 to earn
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 adequate amount of money.
Which
Correct pronoun usage
This
show examples
 means
people
Use synonyms
 have to
work
Use synonyms
 7
days
Use synonyms
 a
week
Use synonyms
 in
order
Use synonyms
 to make their living. The job they do are mostly hard labour which is physically
demending
Correct your spelling
demanding
 and are more prone to get easily injured.
Subsequently
Linking Words
, when they do get injured many
people
Use synonyms
 are not likely to recover and spend most of their limited
days
Use synonyms
 in
pain
Use synonyms
, because they simply cannot afford the medicine or operation they required.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, for a
person
Use synonyms
 who was born in
underdeveloped
Correct article usage
an underdeveloped
show examples
 country (Myanmar) I have experienced
these
Change the determiner
this kind
these kinds
show examples
kind
Use synonyms
 of situation
first
Linking Words
 hand. Many
people
Use synonyms
 in our public hospitals are dying because
medication
Use synonyms
 as simple as paracetamol is
way
Use synonyms
 over the budget of the patients.
In addition
Linking Words
, many children are still
Replace the word
losing
show examples
loosing
Correct your spelling
losing
show examples
 their
life
Use synonyms
 to polio because vaccines are too
overprice
Change the form of the verb
overpriced
show examples
 for the lower
class
Use synonyms
citizen
Use synonyms
 to get their hands on. The worst thing I have seen was that after a major surgery a
person
Use synonyms
 was in terrible
pain
Use synonyms
 because
painkiller
Correct article usage
a painkiller
show examples
 was a luxurious good that he cannot afford. To sum up, reducing the price is a very good
way
Use synonyms
 to combat unnecessary deaths in these
Use synonyms
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
Correct your spelling
of
show examples
pf
Correct your spelling
of
show examples
countries
Use synonyms
.
Also
Linking Words
, many pharmaceutical
companies
Use synonyms
 had already agin net profit even after reducing the prices IT is a well-known fact that countless
life
Use synonyms
 had BEEN lost in
third
Linking Words
 world
countries
Use synonyms
 because many
people
Use synonyms
 cannot afford
medication
Use synonyms
. I totally agree with the notion WHICH STATES that pharmaceutical
companies
Use synonyms
 should make drugs affordable in these
areaS
Correct your spelling
areas
show examples
. AND THAT `The reasons will be discussed in the upcoming paragraphs.
Firstly
Linking Words
, THE majority of the
people
Use synonyms
 in these
countries
Use synonyms
 are working-
class
Use synonyms
 citizenS.
THIS
Linking Words
 means THAT
people
Use synonyms
 have to
work
Use synonyms
 7
days
Use synonyms
 a
week
Use synonyms
 in
order
Use synonyms
 to make their living. The job they do are mostly hard labour which is physically
demending
Correct your spelling
demanding
 and are more prone to get easily injured.
Subsequently
Linking Words
, when they do get injured many
people
Use synonyms
 are not likely to recover and spend most of their limited
days
Use synonyms
 in
pain
Use synonyms
, because they simply cannot afford the medicine or operation they required.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, for a
person
Use synonyms
 who was born in
underdeveloped
Correct article usage
an underdeveloped
show examples
 country (Myanmar) I have experienced
these
Change the determiner
this kind
these kinds
show examples
kind
Use synonyms
 of situation
first
Linking Words
 hand. Many
people
Use synonyms
 in our public hospitals are dying because
medication
Use synonyms
 as simple as paracetamol is
way
Use synonyms
 over the budget of the patients.
In addition
Linking Words
, many children are still
Replace the word
losing
show examples
loosing
Correct your spelling
losing
show examples
 their
life
Use synonyms
 to polio because vaccines are too
overprice
Change the form of the verb
overpriced
show examples
 for the lower
class
Use synonyms
citizen
Use synonyms
 to get their hands on. The worst thing I have seen was that after a major surgery a
person
Use synonyms
 was in terrible
pain
Use synonyms
 because
painkiller
Correct article usage
a painkiller
show examples
 was a luxurious good that he cannot afford. To sum up, reducing the price is a very good
way
Use synonyms
 to combat unnecessary deaths in these
Use synonyms
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
Correct your spelling
of
show examples
pf
Correct your spelling
of
show examples
countries
Use synonyms
.
Also
Linking Words
, many pharmaceutical
companies
Use synonyms
 had already agin net profit even after reducing the prices
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • curable
  • medication
  • affordable
  • diseases
  • poor countries
  • access
  • treatment
  • humanitarian
  • responsibility
  • global health
  • initiatives
  • reduced prices
  • balancing profit
  • necessary
  • curable diseases
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