"Prevention is better than cure." Researching and treating disease is too costly so it would be better to invest in preventative measures. To what extent do you agree.

Paula Scher once said :“It’s through mistakes that you actually can grow. You have to get bad in order to get good.” So
that is
how my
way
has been going until
this
day. When I was 6 years old, an accident happened:I developed a squint because someone scared me. I underwent surgery to remove it, and after it the doctors advised my parents to wait before entering
school
in order to not to stress my eyes, so I was sent to
school
later than other children. It was
also
decided to send me to a
class
with a weak
program
to minimize eye stress.
Therefore
, when I moved to middle
school
, to a fairly strong
class
with additional French lessons.During the
first
year my grades left much to be desired, I had to stay at
school
after lessons to improve my grades, but I did not give up and did not lose heart, but continued to
study
.
As a result
, after hard, difficult work, my GPA increased significantly and I became the top of the
class
. My teachers even positioned me as a role model for other students. At the same
time
I participated in various competitions
such
as "Step into the
Future
" ( representative showcase of scientific and innovative achievements of young researchers in
Russia
) with a math topic research.
Also
I took 1st and 3d places in the Chess Competitions. I got interested in technical and
computer
subjects. In my spare
time
I figured out how to solve Cube Rube and completed the German course” -SOLO:Touch Typing Tutor''.
Then
I went to an art club
school
.
That is
where I discovered my passion for the
design
field
and acquired a passion for making things. Later seeing my progress in lessons , my teachers even advised me to enter the Physics and Mathematics Lyceum which is prestigious in
Russia
. I decided on it and started to prepare hard for the entrance tests, but, unfortunately, I did not manage to pass them.
However
, I was not going to give up so easily, because I still really liked mathematics and physics.
Then
I found out about the existence of a Rosneft
class
with an advanced physics and mathematics
program
. I began to prepare even harder and more seriously, practicing for at least 5 hours a day to be selected for the position in that
class
.
As a result
, I was enrolled in
this
class
, taking the 1st position in the ranking among all candidates. After graduating from
school
I enrolled in one of
Russian
universities
. Even though my major was informatics &
computer
engineering, I didn’t want to give up my art passion . When I was a little kid I thought engineering is like math and
design
is art, but at that moment I felt that the two could be combined into a very hands-on
field
. So I searched for information thoroughly and found out about the departure called
design
engineering.I was so motivated to
study
that
field
. After that, I tried myself at working with
such
programs as AutoCAD and 3D max creating my mini-projects in order to proceed into
this
field
. To understand at least a little about how to use graphic programs, I took free online courses on YouTube. I mastered my programming
skills
as well since I was concerned that they were
also
extremely necessary for
design
engineers.I practised solving different problems in the free platform called “Codewars” It helped me a lot to raise my
knowledge
in
computer
science. All programmes used
English
versions, I immediately decided to practice my
English
- I worked hard on my
english
.I started to work as a teacher of
Russian
teaching
english
-speaking foreigners in tutor platform Preply, teaching
people
from different countries and improving my
English
academic speaking abilities at the same
time
. Now I would love to introduce to you my ambitions and explain why I am literally on fire with an idea to
study
in South
Korea
:I knew since childhood that I wanted to help
people
in the
world
by creating new things which could make their lives more comfortable. Let’s start with density, which is really expensive these days. Living in
Russia
,my family and I often encountered situations when we expected a high
quality
dental treatment.
Nonetheless
,
instead
we endured the absence of results or even worsening of condition and at the same
time
a payment was unduly high . And
that is
when I for the
first
time
started to wonder if there was a possible solution to improve the situation,
however
, I could not even imagine the
way
to realize it. But I truly wanted to make up a
way
to save
people
’s money and nerve system. Another topic bothering me is the
Russian
construction of houses.Here it is rather low-
quality
.Having entered
university
in Moscow, I moved to a dormitory
that is
provided to
Russian
students. It turned out that they are of the worst
quality
. Since the climate in
Russia
is rather harsh, it was almost impossible to live in dorm rooms: in winter it was so cold that I had to wear a jacket indoors, and in summer it was so hot that not even a conditioner could save me from the heat.
In addition
, the walls of the building were crooked.
Then
I felt so ashamed of my
country
's authority, because even in the capital of the
country
, the government was unable to provide a decent place to live for students. That’s when it hit me that it was me who had to change the situation and build the best housing for Russians by implementing a creative approach. So
people
, waking up every day in their apartment, felt happy. I realized that
Russia
needs foreign support in technology due to the hard financial situation or low-cost resources to improve situations in both of
this
two fields. And I began to look for regions / countries in which the government gives an important role to the
field
of
design
, because it was important for me to know that I will
study
in an environment where I would have the opportunity to fully realize my
future
ideas
(described in the
study
plan) , using to the maximum of possible opportunities. After it turned out that South
Korea
is in the 2nd place in the development of industrialization
design
in the global arena, I began a thorough search for information and was very pleased to learn that
Korean
universities
have the potential to provide me with all the necessary resources and
knowledge
, since I have been interested in South
Korean
culture for a long
time
. . I chose
Korea
, because I saw
this
country
as a promisingly developing state (especially in technology), which can give me not only all the necessary
knowledge
and
skills
in the
field
of
design
engineering but advanced opportunities with my
future
employment.
Moreover
, I found out that
Korean
design
buzzwords are mostly solidity,
quality
, innovation, aesthetics and latest technology, minimalism. precision. Unfortunately my
university
didn’t have an exchange
program
with
korean
universities
, so I started to look for an alternative
way
to enter south
korean
and
finally
I bumped into the KGSP
program
. I looked through a variety of
Korean
universities
until I found Inje
University
with my desired departure “
design
engineering”. I found out that Inje
University
provides not only an educational set of courses which were perfect for me but
also
it possessed a space called “Dream Factory Center '' where I could implement all of my
ideas
. I was so amazed that the machines were available for free and I had an opportunity to make things in my head in actual objects.It is
also
possible to create quite big or small artworks since Inje has printers of various sizes. They are running a specialized biomedical
program
so it is even possible to create a prosthetic hand with a 3d printer in there. I subscribed to their channel on youtube called “인제대학교드림팩토리센터'' and watched a planty of videos about an organization of work in there. I was beyond thrilled by the opportunities suggested in
this
center. I bet it was opened exactly for me. Since
then
I got highly motivated and concerned about my
university
choice. Getting education there, I will be in a position to acquire necessary
skills
to realize my plans..My
first
goal is to
design
devices to improve the cost and
quality
of density. 3D printing is extremely prospective and can reduce the costs associated with product development by minimising the amount of labour needed to produce models, tooling and prototype parts. My 3D printing works will help professionals and doctors to learn and improve their
skills
, practice and draw up accurate plans for surgical operations more efficiently.
That is
how the
quality
of treatment will grow significantly.I will start with testing my projects in South
Korea
and after completing my education there I will continue spreading my
future
works in
Russia
. My final goal is to decrease the cost of density by 3 times.Thereby no longer anyone will need to take a toothbrush with themselves all the
time
and use it after each meal. All in all,
finally
, I came to the state in which I cannot live without being sure that I am able to promote new
ideas
and create something new. I am incredibly inspired and well-motivated by
universities
, which give us all necessary
knowledge
and
skills
to implement breakthroughs and improve our
world
. For me
this
scholarship is a chance to realize my
ideas
and I really want to be selected.
Also
it will allow me to share my experience with other
people
from
Russia
interested in
design
engineering about education in South
Korea
and demonstrate my
future
achievements to the
world
and thereby raise the
world
's status of the
country
in
this
field
. That means that
such
participation can provide me with an appreciable experience for my
future
professional career.
Nevertheless
, In case if I am not selected as a successful candidate for
this
program
, I will implement another sphem of realizing my plans. I will apply for
school
42 , a private, nonprofit and tuition-free
computer
programming
school
and after studying for 1 year I will transfer to campus in Seoul. There I will develop
such
required
design
engineers key
skills
as strong math and IT
skills
and problem solving and do my own projects and earn enough money for studying in a
Korean
university
or apply for
design
engineering internships to acquire other necessary
skills
and start to accomplish my
ideas
in real life.
Submitted by diana.karyamina on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: