Whether or not someone achieves their aims is mostly a question of luck. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is believed that
luck
is the main contributor to the success of
people
.
While
I accept that
luck
is one of the important factors, I
also
believe that effort and natural talent are the other aspects partly counted for achievement. On the one hand, if someone achieves their targets,
luck
can not help but be mentioned. Perhaps they are not in the elite class or they are not good in all fields, but if they are lucky, they are still successful.
For example
,
while
you are not good at mathematics, you can only solve simple questions. When you take an exam, the test only asks you about the type of exercise that you are acquainted with or can solve.
As a result
, you pass the exam completely and achieve your aims in score.
On the other hand
, I suppose that the natural talent and the efforts that you put in
also
play a crucial role in getting a target done. When you have the ability to do something well, you will get your aim more easily.
People
who are sensitive to numbers and have analytical thinking will potentially succeed in the accounting field. If you are not talented, you have to put in a lot of effort and be hard-working. A typical shining example who passed the underprivileged and went up to the peak of success is Nick Vujicic, a disabled person who overcame difficulties and now becomes an inspirational motivation not only for disabled
people
but
also
for all the
people
around the world. In conclusion,
although
I recognize that
luck
plays a necessary role in achievement, natural talent and effort are
also
needed to achieve the goal.
Submitted by ng.hg.ly28 on

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task achievement
Your essay provides a clear and complete response to the task. However, ensure that all points are fully developed for a higher score.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, use more varied transitional phrases to connect your ideas smoothly.
task achievement
Try to add more specific examples or evidence to fully support your main points.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are well-written and make your position on the topic clear.
task achievement
Your ideas are clear and comprehensive, making your argument easy to follow.
task achievement
You provided a relevant and relatable example of Nick Vujicic to support your argument.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • diligence
  • consistent effort
  • inherent talent
  • honing skills
  • external factors
  • upbringing
  • social connections
  • economic background
  • right place at the right time
  • contributing factor
  • conjunction
  • success
  • achievements
  • endeavors
  • fortune
  • serendipity
  • determinants
  • efficacy
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