IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Nowadays, international tourism is the biggest industry in the world. Unfortunately, international tourism creates tension rather than understanding between people from different countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion

#tourism #industry #world #tension #people #countries
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Many countries have the main resource income from tourism.
Although
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 trend creates more chances for people to get along with together by exposing the different cultural backgrounds, I would agree that there are more drawbacks between locals and tourists. There are several reasons to explain the conflict caused by foreign travelling.
First
Linking Words
 of all, it is one of the contributors to the loss of local traditions. With the intrusion of outsiders, rural residents are more likely to interact with diverse backgrounds, which are regularly unsuitable with the traditional culture
such
Linking Words
 as drinking alcohol or laughing and talking rudely in public places. These set bad examples for the young generation who tend to be influenced by actions and ignore Vietnamese standards of behaviour.
Moreover
Linking Words
, many foreign tourists have disrespectful behaviours with the local customs and moral values because of being ill-informed.
For example
Linking Words
, a YouTuber named Logan Paul, who was known as a traveller all over the world, was criticized dramatically because he made fun of a waitress’s custom and service in an antique Japanese restaurant. Even though he apologized to the waitress and viewers after his unacceptable attitude, it is still a mockery that leads to public prejudice against young Americans. In conclusion, overseas travelling is a good way for people to experience and widen their knowledge about diversity, I am of the opinion that there are more misunderstandings between individuals from different backgrounds which are caused by conflicts.
Submitted by Mienguyen.0509 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: