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Writing Samples
Band 6

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Nowadays, more people move away from their friends and families for work. Do advantages outweigh the disadvantages? You should write at least 250 words.

#minutes #people #move #friends #families #work
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A lot of individuals nowadays travel from their home city to another city or country for
job
 offers. Of course, there are pros and cons to having a
job
 in a place surrounded by families and friends versus moving to another country or city for
work
. In my perspective, one of the advantages of moving away from families and friends to
work
 is the chance to be more independent in daily tasks
such
 as cleaning, cooking, and ironing clothes. Another advantage is the ability of people to concentrate more on their
job
 performance level.
for instance
, Most companies worldwide give a 3-month trial period for the new employees to prove themselves, and
this
 of course requires the employees to
work
 hard without any social distractions
On the other hand
, one of the disadvantages is the loss of social support from families, friends, and
neighbors
Change the spelling
neighbours
show examples
. The individual has to search for a suitable apartment which might consume time for searching, and could be suitable but very expensive. They have
also
 to secure effective and safe transportation methods, and build up new social relationships with their
neighbors
Change the spelling
neighbours
show examples
 and colleagues at
work
.
For example
, some studies showed that most of the employees who are not supported socially
due to
 the distance are more vulnerable to being affected psychologically
such
 as suffering from anxiety and depression. In conclusion ,
Future
Correct article usage
a Future
show examples
 career and the perfect
job
 opportunity deserve sacrificing.
However
, each individual should compare advantages and disadvantages and make the final decision depending on their personal preferences and needs.
Submitted by ghufran.mahmoud on

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coherence cohesion
Introduce linking words and phrases to improve overall flow and coherence.
task achievement
Provide additional examples to further support your points.
coherence cohesion
A clear introduction and conclusion are present, framing the essay well.
task achievement
Presents relevant arguments about independence and job focus for moving away.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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